Religious Practice in the Home -- Not Always Easy

Here, two Mormon moms, one younger and still raising kids, and one older looking back, talk about establishing spiritually enriching habits in the home.

From Tiffany:

My husband Mike and I have been married for 15 years. It seems like just yesterday we were young newly-weds. Yet somehow the time has flown by us and we find ourselves today raising five children between the ages of 3 and 13. It seems nearly impossible to recall what our lives were like before we had charge over 5 active and determined little people running around our house. Some days it seems a challenge in itself just to get the basic necessities of life taken care of. But yet, each day something pulls us to squeeze things in that, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe to be important components of raising a family.

Three years ago at a Stake Conference (a combined meeting with several local Mormon congregations), Elder Jeffrey R. Holland(who Mormons believe to be a modern-day apostle) attended. Although I remember him giving a riveting talk, I remember clearly one specific thing from his address. It probably has to do with the fact that upon arrival home I immediately wrote down his eight word counsel and it hangs it a prominent place in my kitchen. I am reminded by his advice daily, “When it is a nightmare to do it.”

Elder Holland was referring to the practice that Mormons are encouraged to participate in–family scripture reading, family prayer, and weekly family night time (which Mormons call “Family Home Evening”). All events that for me and my family, the reminder “when it is a nightmare to do it” is more applicable than I would like to admit!
Take scripture reading for example. Many Mormon families make scripture reading, particularly from the Book of Mormon, a daily part of their lives. We believe the words of our former Mormon president, Gordon B. Hinckley when referring to reading the Book of Mormon said,

“There will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God.”

Those assurances from a prophet seem hard to resist and so like thousands of Mormons around the globe, my husband and I do our best to read daily as a family from the Book of Mormon. Just last month my husband and I settled our five young children down to take turns reading together from the Book of Mormon. In an attempt to be funny, my 10 year old son sneaked a Spanish version of the Book of Mormon onto his lap, and when it was his turn to read he proceeded to stifle giggles as he gave an amateur attempt to read in Spanish. Though I was able to laugh at the incident an hour or so later, I was pretty irritated at the moment. It was not funny on the heels of a 2 year-old’s temper tantrums and a 7 year-old’s stubbornness.
And yet we continued reading that night.
Why?
Because of the reminder hanging on the side of my fridge, “When it is a nightmare to do it.”

Why do I do it, even though more often than not a nightmare to do it? Because we have been asked, we have been encouraged, and we have been counseled. There are rarely quiet, reverent moments of reflection while our family is reading from the pages of the Book of Mormon together. And yet we persevere.

Futhermore, we have been instructed as Mormons to pray frequently as a family. There is a standard picture often used in Mormon children’s meetings of a family reverently kneeling in a circle. All the people in the photo, including the children have their arms folded, their heads bowed and eyes closed. It is anything but reminiscent of family prayer at our house.

Take last night for example. One child was being restrained from kicking another in the head. One child was sprawled out on the carpet refusing to kneel, and the child saying the prayer was mumbling into the carpet.

And yet we do our best to have family prayer each night before bed.
Why?
Because we have been encouraged by our Mormon leaders, and from the Book of Mormon itself, which writings Mormons believe to be the word of God.

“Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed” (Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 18:21).

Despite the setbacks of settling five children down to pray, we continue to have regular family prayers together as a family.
Even when it is a nightmare to do it.Many Mormons set aside one night a week devoted to family time together, also referred to as “family home evening.” Monday nights are very often reserved in Mormon homes for that very thing. The First Presidency of the LDS Church in 1976 said:

“Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellowmen, and trust in our Father in heaven. It is our promise that great blessings will come to all who conscientiously plan and hold weekly family home evenings.”

Though there are frequently tender, enjoyable, bonding times spent together as a family during family home evenings, there are also a fair share of arguments about who didn’t get to hold the visual aid, whose turn got skipped, and ultimately someone usually starts crying. Yet despite these setbacks, Mormon families worldwide can be found gathered together as a family on Monday evenings.

Fitting in daily scripture reading, family prayers and a night devoted to family time is not easy amid homework, music-lessons, little-league games and household chores. Yet thousands, of Mormon families continue to make these things priorities in their homes. Simply put, we have faith that the promises given to us by our Mormon leaders are true. We may see some of the fruits of our labors now, but ultimately, we have faith that one day we will see even more.

A late Mormon prophet, Harold B. Lee said, “The most important work you will ever do, will be within the walls of your own home.”
We believe scripture reading, family prayers and family home evenings to be part of “the most important work” President Lee was referring to.

Even when it’s a nightmare to do it.

<From Gale:

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a Mormon woman who has been married for forty-four very eventful years, with six children and nearly thirteen grandchildren. I was raised by worldly and very intellectual parents (not Mormons) who focused on science, education, and culture. My two siblings and I are very close in age. Living far away from extended family, I had virtually no experience with babies, toddlers or young kids before I started having my own. Needless to say, the Family Home Evening (once a week), family prayer (twice a day), and scripture reading (once a day) routine was new to me and quite a challenge. With an artistic temperament, I was no great organizer. Things important to running a household would drop out of my mind frequently, and a few times I even forgot my kids at school.

Unsurprisingly, we were never perfect at any of the above, but we tried. As I read Tiffany’s account of her boisterous children interrupting her efforts to follow the counsel of the Mormon Prophet, I had to laugh. It brought back memories that are now precious. She never did mention the spontaneous farting contests, the bathroom jokes just as we were kneeling down to prayer. In the scriptures there is counsel against “light-mindedness” and “loud laughter” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:121). Good thing the Lord has a sense of humor.

We pressed on through the years against all odds. Now we are old enough to see the fruits of our commitment. Every one of our six children has his or her own personal witness that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is true. Spiritual experience is central to the development of this kind of witness, and we supported our kids’ independence and freedom to choose as we taught them sound principles. The kids developed compassion and a desire to serve along with developing their talents and getting educated. They have served missions for our church but have also served in the US Peace Corps, in the military, and in their own communities. Along the way, they’ve lived their lives with integrity and honor, doing their best to keep themselves “unspotted from the world,” endeavoring to be chaste and to avoid alcohol and tobacco and drugs, to be honest in school and at work — to take the high road. Yes, I’m a proud mom (and grandmother), but I actually do miss the nightmare attempts at Family Home Evening, family prayer, and scripture reading.

Tiffany Sowby is a mother of five and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” woman). She tries to find humor, joy, and contentment in the little things life has to offer.