Insights for Mormon Families… Insights for All Families…
What’s at the core of family and interpersonal conflict? We all desire harmonious relationships and yet, in a way, we often perpetuate conflict by not recognizing our own part in it. This is known as self-deception. Individuals who continually find scapegoats or who think the child, the other, is totally the problem, without relieving the self of an obligation to have a right view of the other that doesn’t engage the conflict or potentially real problem, can miss the mark. Those who continually blame rather than stop to consider alternatives of forgiveness and of offering a blameless response, will continue to engage in a dance of conflict that results in destructive justifications and that seeks to add to a list of wrongs the other person has committed. Where there could be healing, there is further collusion, further hurt. It takes a person to see another person as real–as flawed, perhaps, yes, but as real, to eliminate the kind of conflict that is so often perpetuated in relationships on any front. Jim Ferrell (Latter-day Saint ["Mormon]” leader, author, and co-founder of the Arbinger Institute) speaks to these core issues–unresolved by many who strove to create therapeutic solutions–often that undermine the healing process, rather than lead out of it–which have been unraveled and distilled by Terry Warner in his application of gospel principles in lay terms, and in application of the words of the Martin Buber, illustrating that we can see the world in one of two ways–and people in one of two ways–as objects or as real people. This may seem simple, but the implications of this are stunning. See this video — it applies to all faiths and families–Mormon families, Jewish families, Muslim families, atheist families, blended families, single families–and to all individuals in relation, married, single, divorced, widowed, childless, child-bearing.
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