Michael Craven is worried that culture is working to convince men they aren’t very important in the lives of their children. He says they are often seen as merely the wage earner and people ignore the need for fathers to have a more interactive role in their children’s lives. He wants men to recognize their importance as a role-model and as a source of love and guidance for children.
He points out a little-known study done in Sweden in 1994 that was published in 2000. This study showed that children were more likely to remain active in their religions if their fathers were active. The best outcome was when both parents were regular church-goers, but the second best outcome was when fathers were the only regular church-goer. Children were more likely to follow in their father’s footsteps when it came to religious attendance than their mother’s, even though the mother spends more time with the children.
God planned for fathers to be the head of the household, and this includes being the spiritual head of household. M. Russell Ballard, an apostle for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (members are often nicknamed Mormons), said:
“Fathers are expected by God and His prophets not only to provide for their families but also to protect them. Dangers of all sorts abound in the world in which we live. Physical protection against natural or man-made hazards is important. Moral dangers are also all around us, confronting our children from their early years. Fathers play a vital role in protecting children against such snares.
We know that a father’s role does not end with presiding, providing, and protecting family members. On a day-to-day basis, fathers can and should help with the essential nurturing and bonding associated with feeding, playing, storytelling, loving, and all the rest of the activities that make up family life” (M. Russell Ballard, “The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood,” March 2006).
One young father was interviewed by a reporter visiting a church meeting. The father was found holding an infant during classes. He explained that when he met the missionaries and they began to teach him what Mormons believe, they told him he should marry the baby’s mother, since they were still dating. They encouraged him to participate in his child’s life and help care for it. The father had never been told that and in his environment, fathers were largely not present. He said he would have done it from the start if he had known that was the right thing to do. He married the mother and they enjoyed a happy marriage. He proudly took care of his baby and was learning to love being a father.
We have a responsibility not just to our own sons, but to the boys whose fathers aren’t present, to show them the blessings of parenthood so they can become a positive influence on their children. A group of Mormon men assigned to head up the teen boy’s program in their church were told that most of their students were new to the church and did not have fathers in their homes. The men were all fathers of young children and they were asked to serve as role models to these boys so their own children would have a better chance. The men brought their babies to class and let the students see them feeding and caring for the babies. They brought young children to weekday Scouting activities and the boys had a chance to see them playing with, teaching, and disciplining their children. Although it is better for children to learn these things from the examples of their own fathers, we must take every opportunity to show boys who lack that role modeling what it means to be a father and how wonderful it is to have that role in the proper place—within a loving marriage.
Fatherhood is important to a child’s spiritual well-being. Take the time to be a father, to encourage someone else to be a father, or to serve as a role model for the next generation.