The world needs leaders who can take charge and bring about change, who can help others reach their potential, and who can guide others through the process of creating a Christ-centered world. Leadership training should begin when children are young and it should begin in the home. Parents can teach by example as they lead wisely, and they can also offer direct training in leadership, as well as providing opportunities for children to practice their leadership skills.
This family night lesson allows parents to introduce the concept of leadership to their family and to organize opportunities for their family to experience leadership.
Learn how to plan a family night.
Several days before the family night lesson, ask each person to think of a leader they admire and to be prepared to tell their family about the person. They should explain what they admire about the person and what type of leadership the person demonstrates. The person can be someone famous or someone the child knows, but he or she should be someone who demonstrates righteous leadership.
Begin the family night by having each family member share information about the person they’ve chosen. You may need to ask questions to draw out the hero’s leadership qualities. For your own presentation, tell them you’re going to keep the identity a secret but that they should fold their arms when they’ve guessed who it is. Begin telling the family about Jesus Christ, without using His name. Mention some of the following points in outlining his leadership skills, and include your own information:
He led by love, not force.
He taught the people what was right or wrong, and explained the blessings and consequences of each, and then left them free to choose what to do.
He didn’t just lead those who were rich, glamorous, important, or like Him. He lead all who would follow.
He didn’t try to make things too easy—He asked hard things of His followers.
He didn’t just sit in a chair and give orders. He also worked hard and served others. He was a servant leader.
His leadership was based on Godly principles.
Once your children have guessed who you are discussing, ask them if they can think of stories from the Bible that demonstrate Jesus’ leadership. Spend time sharing stories with them and discussing how each story show what type of leader He was. Ask if the things they’ve discussed so far help them to understand how to be a good leader.
Ask your family if they’ve ever had an opportunity to be a leader. They may think leadership means being put in charge of a meeting, activity, or organization. Help them to realize they are a leader any time they help others to do something. For instance, they are a leader if they’ve taught a younger sibling how to write his name, or stopped friends from teasing another child. They can be leaders for good or leaders for bad. It’s up to them.
Ask them to turn in their New Testament to Matthew 23:11: But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. Ask if they know what this means.
Leadership is all about service. The term “servant leader” is really the operant mode in leadership. One cannot lead or influence others unless he or she is perceived as one who serves and cares about those who are led. (Ed J. Pinegar and Richard J. Allen, excerpted from a forthcoming book called, “What We Need to Know and Do.)
Use this longer quote with older children and teenagers:
The Servant”
In the leadership classic, Servant Leadership by Robert K. Greenleaf, we learn about Hermann Hesse’s book, Journey to the East. In Hesse’s story we learn of Leo, the servant. Leo is the character who actually lives the life of service. Everything he did was for the benefit of the group. Leo disappears and is discovered later to be in reality the great leader. This is the premise of Greenleaf’s wonderful book—to be a great leader you must truly be perceived as the servant to those you are leading.
This truly is the essence of great leadership—service to those you lead, which in turn enhances their lives and they, because of you, become like unto you, the leader. They in turn become leaders. This is the reward of leadership—success in the cause and lifting all those around you who are part of the cause. This governing principle can be found in all true leaders.
This illustration depicts the greatest leader of all time who ever lived upon the earth, even Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world. This is a delicate subject because I do not wish to offend, though I, as the author, have such personal, deep, and emotional ties to Jesus Christ. With this in mind, we will attempt to look at the results of His leadership.
Did Jesus Christ serve? And if so, what was the result of his leadership? The billions of Christians on the earth bear witness of his effect.
He had a cause—the well-being and happiness of all humankind. He served the cause—He lived as the perfect teacher and example of the principles He taught. He died that all might live again if they would but follow him and his teachings.
He led others in the cause—from the beginning of time, God has blessed His children. During Christ’s life he taught and helped all of his disciples to be like His Father (Matthew 5:48.)
The results of His leadership have had and will continue to have a dominant effect upon the world—its morals and values and the very lives of the people who live on the earth. Jesus Christ was the ultimate leader, which caused the greatest change in people throughout the earth’s existence. As leaders, this is the example we should follow, that we may leave a positive legacy for others, and those around us will be blessed. All can become servant leaders. (Ed J. Pinegar)
Ask your family to think of people in their own lives who are servant leaders. Do they know people who are so loving and good it’s a pleasure to follow their instructions? Do they know people who lead entirely by example? How would they feel if a Sunday School teacher ordered them to keep the commandments but never kept any herself? How would they feel if they went on a service project to clean an elderly person’s yard and the leader stretched out on the lawn and read a book after handing out assignments, relaxing while others worked? A servant leader works as hard or harder than those he leads.
Set out a box containing strips of paper on which you’ve written questions or situations about leadership. Invite each person to take a turn pulling a paper from the box, reading it, and leading the discussion. Each person in the family can answer every question, or a discussion can allow everyone to contribute ideas informally. Show respect for all opinions, but guide children to understand correct principles. Following are some examples of what might be in the box:
Questions:
- Do you need to always be assigned to be in charge of something in order to be a leader?
- How can you show respect for those who are assigned to lead you?
- Is there ever a situation where it would be okay to refuse to follow a leader?
- What types of leader do you want to be?
- Name a situation where you can lead without a specific assignment?
- How can you be a leader among your friends?
- What do you think are the three most important qualities for a leader to have?
Case Studies:
- Angela’s friends are planning to play a joke on a girl at school who isn’t very popular. How can Angela be a leader?
- Peter was assigned to lead an activity in his school club, but no one is listening to him or doing what is asked. How can Jake, another club member, show leadership without taking Peter’s job over?
- A teacher announces the class is going to watch a movie. Josie quickly realizes it’s a movie she isn’t allowed to see. She looks around and sees some of the other children aren’t comfortable either, but are too afraid to say something. What should Josie do to be a leader, but still be respectful to the teacher?
- James notices the kindergarten playground at his school is a mess. There is a lot of trash, and there are some dangerous rocks on the ground. What can James, who is in sixth grade, do as a leader?
- During school, Elsie’s teacher falls and is seriously hurt. All the children are scared, and some are crying. The teacher can’t get up and is having trouble talking. What should Elsie do as a leader?
Role Models:
Include brief stories of leadership, from heroes you want your children to admire, such as Biblical leaders or people from history. After each one, ask if there is ever a situation like that in their own lives, and if so, what could they do to follow the example of that leader.
After this activity, tell your children you want them all to have an opportunity to be a leader. Set up a schedule of special events, one for each family member to lead. You may want to have them draw from a box, or you can assign something. Choose a mixture of activities, such as family service projects, fun outings, or even planning family nights. Young children can be assigned an older mentor, but should do as much as possible on their own. If you decide to do a second round, give each person a different type of activity to plan.
Spend a few minutes reminding children of the leadership principles they need to follow. Then discuss how to be a good follower. Explain that the parents will be mentoring the leader and will always have the right to make suggestions or to make rules that must be followed. The leader will not be replacing the parents. However, the leader will have as much authority as possible, as long as he uses it wisely.
Tell them the leaders may make mistakes, but that this is part of the learning experience. Everyone needs to be patient, kind, supportive, and helpful. They should accept assignments from the leader, and the leader should work as hard or harder than the followers.