Children are often tempted to put honesty aside in order to avoid punishment or embarrassment. If they learn to respect the quality of honesty as children, they are more likely to make the necessary sacrifices to maintain their integrity. This family night lesson will help your children understand honesty and make a commitment to it.
Begin the family night by reading the following true story to your children:
Tell them that in this story, the boy who cheated got caught and the boy who didn’t got an A+ anyway. That makes it
easy to decide who made the best choice. But what if it hadn’t worked out that way? What if the cheater had never gotten caught and the boy who refused to cheat had gotten a bad grade? Would that make a difference in whether or not each boy had made the right choice?
Tell them honesty isn’t about whether or not we get caught or whether or not we have a happy ending to our story. It is about us and who we are and who we want to be. Ask your family to open their scriptures and find the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20). Tell them two of the commandments deal with honesty. Ask them to read the chapter and figure out which ones they are. (If you have older teens, they may realize there are others that deal with honesty as well, but for younger children, focus on false witness and theft.)
Make sure they understand what the words mean. Ask why they think God cares about these two commandments. How can lying about another person and stealing from someone hurt others? How can it hurt us? How do they think God feels when we do those things?
Ask them to remember the story they heard at the start of the lesson. The boy who cheated was both lying and stealing. Ask them how he was lying and who he was stealing from.
Why do your children think some children cheat on tests? What can they do or what should they understand to help them stop doing it?
The mother in the story assured her son he was loved no matter what grade he got on his paper. Make sure your children understand they do not need to cheat or lie to be loved.
Take a few minutes to discuss your family’s consequences for dishonesty. They should understand that even though they may still be punished for having done something, they need to tell the truth, and not add an additional wrong to the first one by lying.
Ask your family to turn to Mark 14 in the New Testament. This is the story of Jesus on trial. Read verses 53 top 65 together as a family, making sure younger children understand what is happening, and then ask the following questions:
Why were the people asking Jesus these questions?
What would happen if Jesus told the truth?
Did He tell the truth?
Help them see that Jesus set the example. Even though He knew He would be killed for telling the truth, He told the truth. He expects us to tell the truth also, even when there will be serious consequences for doing it.
Teach your children the song, “I Believe in Being Honest.” Make sure they understand the message of the song. Music is an excellent way to reinforce the values you want your children to hold, because it enters their hearts in a different way than mere spoken words.
Place a group of cards in a box and have the family take turns choosing one and discussing it. Each card will have an honesty situation or question in it. Some of them are situations that even moral people disagree on. When these are chosen, take time to discuss them as a family and to set a family policy on the situation. Include any situations you consider especially important in your family. Following are some examples:
- Kyra and her little brother are playing in the kitchen. A plate of cookies is on the table. They are not supposed to eat the cookies until after lunch, but they look very tempting. Kyra quickly eats one, and when her mother notices there is a cookie missing, she blames her little brother so she won’t get into trouble. Was this the best solution? Why do you think Kyra did it? What should she do now to make things right?
- Erica’s best friend has a new dress. Erica can see Mandy is very proud of the new dress, but Erica thinks it’s ugly. When Mandy asks Erica if she likes it, Erica isn’t sure what to do. Should she tell the truth? Should she lie? Can she find one nice thing to say about it and hope Mandy doesn’t realize she didn’t really answer the question? (Is that honest or dishonest?)
- Is it ever okay to tell a lie if telling the truth will hurt someone’s feelings?
- Is it okay to lie to protect another person?
- Is there any situation where lying is okay?
- Jacob and his friend are playing with their small toy cars. When Jacob gets home, he realizes he had picked up one of his friend’s cars when he cleaned up. It’s his favorite car, but it isn’t his. Would it be okay to keep it, since it was just an accident that he took it home?
- Todd lied to his father about something important. He got a reward because his father thought he’d done something he hadn’t. Now Todd feels guilty for lying. He can’t give back the reward—a trip to the park. What can he do to make things right?
- Tasha’s class has been asked to read a book. Everyone who reads the book gets to go to a book party at school. Tasha tells her teacher she read the book even though she hadn’t, because she wants to go to the party. She decides it will be okay, because she really will read it as soon as she gets home. Does that make it okay?
- David doesn’t have many toys or much food at home. His family has very little money. His friend Jacob has so many toys he can’t remember them all and plenty of food. Sometimes when David is visiting, he takes home a toy he knows Jacob doesn’t even play with or puts some food in his pocket. He feels this is okay because it isn’t fair that he doesn’t have enough and Jacob has too much and he isn’t taking anything that will hurt Jacob’s family. Is David right? What should David do? What should Jacob do?
10. Honesty is often not considered very important in the world today. What can we do to change that?