The Pioneering Change Agent

One definition of the word “pioneer” is, “one who opens up new areas of thought, research, or development.” In that sense, a pioneer is an innovator. He discovers and introduces new ideas which may differ somewhat from the established norm, but if adhered to, could cause positive change to occur in the lives of others. And so, it may also be said that a pioneer is a change agent, or a person who acts as a catalyst for change.

Change Agents Influence the Lives of Others

I am a pioneer in the sense that I am the only person in my immediate family who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently referred to as the Mormon Church by the media and others.) As such, I am also a change agent, and have been given an awesome responsibility by my Heavenly Father to set the example and to lead my family down the path that I have been blessed to discover, that leads to the knowledge of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. If they would follow that path, they too could come to know the joy and the happiness that the gospel brings to a person’s life.

Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ, however, does not mean that my responsibilities end with just my family, but rather, as a change agent for the Lord Jesus Christ, I am reminded:

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your alight so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:14-16).

Another of my favorite passages of scripture that serves as a proverbial compass as I walk along life’s path is found in 1 Peter 3:15-17. These verses have become my life verses as it were:

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.

For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.

As I strive to live my life as a living witness and testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I often reflect upon the words recorded in verse 15, “. . . . be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.”  The greatest message of hope that we can share with anyone is the gospel of Jesus Christ, and so I must be ready to always give an answer to all that ask me of the hope that is within me.

Steps to Preparing to Give an Answer of the Hope that is in me

There are several steps that I can take to ensure that I am always ready to give an answer of that inward hope.

• Be a diligent student of the Word

Elder L. Tom Perry, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (the second highest governing body of The Church of Jesus Christ) has taught, “The scriptures that are never read will never help us” (“Born of Goodly Parents,” Ensign, May 1985, p. 23). It is very difficult to teach someone about something if we have not adequately prepared ourselves by studying the subject that we are apt to teach. The scriptures are our guide or compass as we travel the pathways of life.

This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success (Joshua 1:8).

Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15).

• Memorize portions of Scripture

What better way to demonstrate the love that we have for the words of our Great Exemplar, the Lord Jesus Christ than by memorizing portions of those words. By so doing, we show others that we believe they are more than just words on a page, but we have written them upon our hearts and we testify that they are true. As the Psalmist declared in Psalm 119:11, “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I may not sin against thee.”

• Be an example

The Apostle Paul exhorted his young son in the gospel, Timothy, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). Delbert L. Stapley who served as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ from 1950 to 1978 taught, “The way we live outweighs any words that we may profess to follow” (CR, October 1974, p.25). Harold B. Lee, 11th President and Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ taught,

You cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is. You must be sure if you would rescue the man that you yourself are setting the example of what you would have him to be. You cannot light a fire in another soul unless it is burning in your own soul (CR, April 1973, p.178).

There is no better way to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with non-member family and friends than by being a living example of the principles and doctrines that are taught therein. If others see that we strive to live the gospel, and that it brings joy and happiness, they too will want to follow in our footsteps to be able to experience that same joy and happiness.

• Acknowledge Christ in all things

In Proverbs 3:5-6 we are taught to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will direct thy paths.” Christ must always be our guide. He will shows us the paths that we must take and the way that we must go.

• Pray earnestly

Luke 18:1 tells us that “…men ought always to pray…” We must also remember that prayer is not one- way communication. At the end of our prayers we need to spend some quiet time just listening. Sometimes ideas flood our minds as we listen after our prayers. Sometimes feelings press upon us. A spirit of calmness assures us that all will be well. Joseph F. Smith, 6th President and Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ taught,

Do not forget to pray. Don’t suppose for a moment that you are as safe and secure in the favor of the Lord when you feel independent of Him as you will be if you feel your dependence upon Him all the day long (CR, April 1915, p.140).

• Endure to the end

In the Book of Mormon (a volume of scripture that is comparable to the Holy Bible and is Another Testament of Jesus Christ), in 1 Nephi 13:37 we learn:

And blessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my Zion at that day, for they shall have the gift and the power of the Holy Ghost; and if they endure unto the end they shall be lifted up at the last day, and shall be saved in the everlasting kingdom of the Lamb; and whoso shall publish peace, yea, tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountains shall they be.

And in modern day revelation as recorded in Doctrine and Covenants 14:7 we are taught, “And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.”

I close with my testimony that the hope that is in me is Jesus Christ and the knowledge that His gospel is true. I am persuaded that as a pioneer member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for my family; as a light that shines before the world; as a change agent for the Lord Jesus Christ, as I strive to live my life as a living witness and testimony, others will want to follow in my footsteps to learn more of this blessed hope. The windows of opportunity are open and I am willing to do the work that the Father has sent me to do. That I may do so humbly and in accordance with His perfect will is my sincere prayer, in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ. Amen.

Additional Resources:

Keith L. Brown – Mormon.org Profile

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons

Request a Free Copy of the Book of Mormon

Elder Dallin H. Oaks, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sometimes called the “Mormon Church,” said in a recent broadcast titled “As He Thinketh in His Heart”:

A powerful and influential modern school of thought is ‘moral relativism,’ the idea that there is no absolute right or wrong. Behind that idea is the assumption that there is no God or, if there is a God, that He has given no commandments that apply to us today. That idea puts its adherents in the same position as the unfortunate people the prophet Mormon [in the Book of Mormon] described as ‘without Christ and God in the world; … driven about as chaff before the wind’ (Mormon 5:16).

Latter-day Saints obviously begin with a different premise: there is a God who is the source of eternal law, and He has given commandments that establish a right and a wrong for many choices. Also, in the third act of His eternal plan, we will be held accountable for the extent to which our mortal deeds and desires have been in harmony with those commandments. We oppose moral relativism, and we must help our youth avoid being deceived and persuaded by reasoning and conclusions based on its false premises.”

Moral relativism often comes into play in response to a moral dilemma or question. If moral relativism is a fallacy, then where can one look to find what God said was right and wrong?

Elder Oaks continued:

“Where do we look for the premises with which we begin our reasoning on the truth or acceptability of various proposals? We anchor ourselves to the word of God, contained in the scriptures and in the teachings of modern prophets. Unless we are anchored to these truths as our major premises and assumptions, we cannot be sure that our conclusions are true. Being anchored to eternal truth will not protect us from the tribulation and persecution Jesus predicted (see Matthew 13:21), but it will give us the peace that comes from faith in Jesus Christ and the knowledge that we are on the pathway to eternal life.”

The laws of God are eternal and are found in the scriptures.

Doctrine and Covenants 88:41 says, “He comprehendeth all things, and all things are before him, and all things are round about him; and he is above all things, and in all things, and is through all things, and is round about all things; and all things are by him, and of him, even God, forever and ever.”

Doctrine and Covenants 1:38 says, “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.”

The scriptures also contain warnings about following false teachings.

Hebrews 13:8-9 says, “Jesus Christ [is] the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines.”

Colossians 2:8 says, “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”

Elder Oaks concludes his address with this counsel:

“The world in which we live is like the field described by the Savior in the Gospel of Matthew. Until the time of harvest, the wholesome and desirable wheat is growing side by side with the tares sown by the enemy, who is the devil (see Matthew 13:24–30, 39). In the parable of the sower, Jesus described the result: When the sower’s word falls on stony places, where a hearer has ‘not root in himself,’ he will be offended when ‘tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word’ (see Matthew 13:20–21). Other seeds fall ‘among thorns’ and, as Mark describes, ‘the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful’ (Mark 4:18–19). This parable describes the reaction of any of us who are offended when we suffer tribulation or persecution or otherwise become unfruitful because of ‘the cares of this world’ or our ‘lusts of other things.’

“We should apply the caution Jesus gave to His disciples to ‘beware of the … doctrine of the Pharisees’ (Matthew 16:12). We cannot escape the conclusions, teachings, and advocacy of modern Pharisees. We must live in the world. But the teaching that we not be ‘of the world’ (John 15:19;17:14, 16) requires us to identify error and exclude it from our thinking, our desires, and our actions. In this way, through faith and trust in Jesus Christ and our knowledge of our Heavenly Father’s plan, we can press forward with confidence in these troubled times.”

Moral relativism is the world’s answer for tough questions. But followers of Christ need to hold their ground with love and kindness. The Savior was always loving and kind to those around him. When faced with the tough question of what to do with the woman who was taken in adultery, the Savior showed kindness and mercy. (See John 8:1-11.) The scribes and Pharisees wanted to stone her, as required by the Law of Moses. But the Savior said, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” (John 8:7). And, seeing that her accusers left her unharmed, He said, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?” (See John 8:10.) And then He said, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” Followers of Christ must stand firm in the faith for what they know to be true: morality is never relative, it is always found in following the Savior.

This article was written by Lisa Montague, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The Lord Jesus Christ in Mormonism

If you have a tender heart because you have not yet had the privilege of bearing children on this earth, or maybe you feel that you were deprived of a mother-like role in your growing up years, know that God is mindful of you. A member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes mistakenly called the “Mormon Church” by friends of other faiths) Elder Jeffrey R Holland has said:

To the women within the sound of my voice who dearly want to be mothers and are not, I say through your tears and ours on that subject, God will yet, in days that lie somewhere ahead, bring ‘hope to [the] desolate heart.’” Elder Holland promises “ultimately ‘no blessing shall be withheld’ from the faithful, even if those blessings do not come immediately.  In the meantime we rejoice that the call to nurture is not limited to our own flesh and blood. (“Because She Is a Mother,” Ensign, May 1997)

So women, I ask, are we not all mothers?

I love this quote by Sister Sheri L. Dew who said:

While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living,” and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. (“Are We Not All Mothers?” Ensign, Nov. 2001)

And if you do have a tender heart right now, remember Elder Holland’s words, “ultimately ‘no blessing shall be withheld’ from the faithful.” And also enjoy these words shared by Reachel Bagley who has suffered from infertility:

There are hungry father-in-laws, and overwhelmed sisters; there are friends suffering from too little clean laundry, and husbands who need foot rubs. People need to be prayed for, listened to, and looked after. People are sometimes hurt, lonely, and exhausted, and regardless of whether they are minors, they need mothers. Even mothers need mothers. And for now, that’s what I look for: opportunities to mother. You don’t need to possess someone to love them. Loving is not synonymous with possessing; and possessing is not necessarily loving. But loving and nurturing is mothering. I believe that makes me a mother, regardless of whether I am capable of creating double lines on a pregnancy test. (“The Very Deserving Mother Heart,” Lyndsay and the Johnsons, Mar. 2009)

Now hearing these words may not take the hurt away, but I testify that the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ will—if you seek it.

Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come (Doctrine and Covenants 68:6).

Now as Reachel shared, loving and nurturing is mothering. Some cynics may ask why is it necessary to love? Let me illustrate by sharing a psychology experiment done by Harry F. Harlow:

In Harlow’s initial experiments infant monkeys were separated from their mothers at six to twelve hours after birth and were raised instead with substitute or ‘surrogate’ mothers made either of heavy wire or of wood covered with soft terry cloth. In one experiment both types of surrogates were present in the cage, but only one was equipped with a nipple from which the infant could nurse. Some infants received nourishment from the wire mother, and others were fed from the cloth mother. Even when the wire mother was the source of nourishment, the infant monkey spent a greater amount of time clinging to the cloth surrogate.

It is also noted that when a frightening stimulus was brought into the room the monkeys would run to their terry cloth mother for protection. But was this cuddly cloth covered piece of wood enough for these monkeys—even though they got all the food and protection they needed? No.

…the actions of surrogate-raised monkeys became bizarre later in life. They engaged in stereotyped behavior patterns such as clutching themselves and rocking constantly back and forth; they exhibited excessive and misdirected aggression…

The behavior of these monkeys as mothers — the ‘motherless mothers’ as Harlow called them — proved to be very inadequate … These mothers tended to be either indifferent or abusive toward their babies. The indifferent mothers did not nurse, comfort, or protect their young, but they did not harm them. The abusive mothers violently bit or otherwise injured their infants, to the point that many of them died.  (John Wiley and Sons, Principles of General Psychology, 1980)

Remembering God’s Love

So whether we have borne children or not, remember that as eternal mothers and fathers (for in the eternities motherhood is always accompanied by fatherhood) the task of giving love to our children is the most critical thing we can do when it comes to raising them. It is more important than having a fancy meal, a nice hair-do everyday, or a creatively (Pinterest worthy) decorated home. Love is everything. And when we let our children know that we love them, we are helping them remember that great love they felt from their Heavenly Parents, before they entered mortality.

As we—their parents—try to become like Jesus Christ, and ultimately like our Father, they will feel greater love. Why? Because our children can sense our devotion to God because as we are more devoted to Him and His cause, our capacity to love is increased. When our children feel, or remember, His love vicariously through us, their parents, the veil that hides heaven becomes thin and they remember and relive the feelings of inexpressible joy that they partook of before they entered mortality.

Tyler (my sweet husband) likes to tease me because I try not to let a day go by that I don’t talk with my own mother. I suppose I am drawn to her, and our conversations, because I myself remember God’s love when I do. I am grateful for my own parents who are devoted to God because they help me remember. And I am grateful that they created an atmosphere where I could go to them for anything—whether it was to ask them to come get me from a place that I realized was not appropriate for me, or letting me go and sleep on their floor at night when I got scared. I hope I can love my children as my parents did me.

Time to Act

What can you do to show greater appreciation for your own mom, wife, teacher or friend? Husbands, what can you do to show your gratitude for the role your wife has as an eternal mother? Children, what can you do to help your mom remember that she is doing something great, even though it may be exhausting?

I know that if we love our children now, it will bless them now, as teenagers, adults, and most importantly loving our children now will bless them to be the Mothers and Fathers of eternity. Just as our Father’s goal and mission is to have us become like Him, that should be our goal for our children as well.

Remember that no blessing is to be withheld from the faithful. The family unit is made fully complete through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful the Lord has entrusted Tyler and I to have such a precious and noble son. I can feel his power when I look at him. I love him. And I hope to be the mother that Heavenly Father wants me to be now and in the eternities.

This article was written by Ashley Bell, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Additional Resources:

Meet with Mormon missionaries

Request a free Book of Mormon

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons

The determining factors for the surveys were determined by a panel of wellness doctors, including Dr. Mike Roizen and Dr. Mehmet Oz. The organization promotes healthy lifestyles to prevent early aging and poor health.

Two highlights help earn Salt Lake City-Ogden the second-youngest RealAge in America: The region is the best place for happy marriages and second best for not smoking. Residents’ other healthy habits include taking a daily aspirin and keeping an optimistic outlook. Both are good for your heart.

The reasons for happier marriages in Salt Lake City were not clearly defined, although it suggested several factors. The announcement on their webpage stated:

Temple Square is the place to get married in Salt Lake City. During peak wedding season, the square hosts more than 80 ceremonies a day. All of this nuptial excitement must rub off on the people who live there because this capital city of Utah ranks No. 1 for happy marriages, and Salt Lake spouses must be good role models for one another because their healthy habits, such as being physically active and not smoking, made SLC the second youngest city in the overall rankings.

The article provided seven tips to successful marital relationships:

• When things get tense, tap your sense of humor. Conflicts are inevitable in any marriage, but if you remember to laugh about them, it helps you work through the tension and reconnect.
• Research suggests that keeping a journal may help cement your bond with your partner. The simple act of focusing for a few minutes on the important things in your life helps you feel more enthusiastic or positive about them.
• When it comes to relationships, spirituality is a powerful tool. Meditation and prayer can help slow breathing and brain activity, and reduce heart rate and blood pressure — all of which are likely to make you feel more peaceful, joyful, and forgiving toward your spouse.
• It’s important to make time to do things as a couple to rekindle love and affection.
• Seeing eye to eye on financial issues — a leading cause of marital stress and divorce — can go a long way toward avoiding marriage troubles.
• Researchers have found that spending just 5 minutes a day outside in a natural setting seriously lifts your mood and your self-esteem, which makes both you and your mate way more fun to be around.
• Studies suggest that enjoying the arts can soothe anxiety, zap your risk of depression, and make you feel more satisfied with your life and relationships.

It is possible that the real reason marriages in Salt Lake City are happier is due to its high population of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons or LDS) who marry in Mormon temples, which entails an eternal commitment.

In 2000, an article written for the LA Times stated that there is a significantly lower divorce rate among those who have temple marriages. Author William Lobdell, a non- Mormon suggested ten reasons why:

• They date within their faith.
• They make sure they’re committed to their faith.
• They get their lives squared away before marriage.
• They make the wedding ceremony sacred.
• “Until death do you part” isn’t enough. They marry for eternity.
• They believe the family that prays together stays together.
• They send their young men on two-year missions, which get them used to the stresses and strains of living with someone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
• They get help when they have a problem.
• They believe children create happy, stable marriages.
• Mormon families have what they call “family home evenings,” usually on Mondays. That’s when the TV goes off, and the family either tackles a spiritual lesson or simply plays board games and eats treats.

Article By Jan

Additional Resources:

Jesus Christ in Mormonism

More Mormon Beliefs

Mormon Temples

The key to happiness in a marriage is to “adopt each other’s interests and passions.” [1] In a recent family therapy class, I learned that this is one way couples can have happier marriages. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly miscalled the Mormon Church by the media), I understand why Mormon marriages are successful. Modern prophets have taught—

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. [2]

I know when we follow God’s prophets that we are blessed with greater security and happiness. Who doesn’t want God’s guidance in today’s world of increasing divorces, unstable families, and economic troubles? Families can receive added blessings through obeying God’s prophets, and taking the opportunity to prayerfully call upon heaven for help.

Mormon Marriage Doctrine

Most people think of a marriage made in heaven as a rare occurrence in which both parties are deeply in love and highly compatible. We like to think that all our marriages are made in heaven. When a man and woman enter one of our holy temples to be married, they covenant (or promise) they will stay together forever—on earth and in heaven after they die, if they are faithful to each other and their promises to the Lord. [3]

Mormon marriages can be “sealed” under the authority of God within an LDS Temple (or House of God). Mormon temples are special places where families can be united and bound together for eternity. LDS families know that “temples are the most sacred place on earth-a place where earth and heaven meet and where we feel close to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.” [4] Mormon families work hard at their marriages because they have an important and “solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.” [2] This is different than finding a soul-mate and hoping that mutual sympathy continues. Under this structure, husband, wife, and children are all servants of the eternal marriage covenant, with the design that not only will they be worthy to be together forever in the presence of God, but that they will all want this very thing. This takes effort and charity. Love grows when it is so nourished. The divorce rate for temple marriages is too high at 6.5 %, but this is very low compared to marriages in America at 50% and marriages among all Americans active in religions at 25%.

Mormon Marriage Tips

A recent Deseret News article reported the key to marriage is simply to “adopt each other’s interests and passions, whatever they are”. [1] Marriage specialist, Dr. John Gottman teaches the same thing in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (2000). He says it’s important to be familiar with your partner’s world to avoid losing friendship, and connection which can ultimately lead to divorce.

• Learn what your partner loves to do. [1] What hobbies, talents, and activities most interest him/her? This becomes easy and natural when partners have shared interests and passions. It may be a challenge to learn about your spouse’s passions when you spend the majority of your time raising children. It can also take extra work if you are not interested in a specific type of music, art, activity or sport. But, taking extra effort or time to learn about it, gives a couple more to talk about. Although I have no interest in guns, I know that my boyfriend could talk all day about shooting rifles, pistols and shotguns. In fact, I enjoy watching how excited he gets when he talks about hunting.
• Have the attitude, “If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.” [1] I feel loved when someone takes the time to listen to me. It could take only five minutes to learn something new about him/her.
• Focus on your children. Make them your shared “main interest or passion while they are at home.” On dates, you can spend time together focusing upon how to better instill Christian values and standards in your children. If you don’t have children yet, enjoy the limited time you may have before they come along.
• Enjoy differences of opinions and interests. Allow each other to spend time, money, and energy on personal pursuits. Life would be boring, if a husband and wife were exactly alike. “What could be more boring than that? Let’s celebrate our differences! Let’s learn from each other’s interests! Let’s learn the marvelous marriage synergy of accepting each other’s passions, then adopting them, then loving them.” [1]
• Include God. “Never let a day go by without holding family prayer and family scripture study… See if it does not bless your home with greater peace, hope, love, and faith” (L. Tom Perry, “Back to Gospel Basics,” Ensign, May 1993, 92). • Keep an optimistic perspective and focus what is going well in your relationship. Mormon marriages work because couples know that relationships are not temporary but lasting.

Additional Resources:

Mormon Beliefs: Why We Build Mormon Temples

Visit a local LDS church nearby you

How Do I Teach My Children to Work?

Three years ago at a Stake Conference (a combined meeting with several local Mormon congregations), Elder Jeffrey R. Holland(who Mormons believe to be a modern-day apostle) attended. Although I remember him giving a riveting talk, I remember clearly one specific thing from his address. It probably has to do with the fact that upon arrival home I immediately wrote down his eight word counsel and it hangs it a prominent place in my kitchen. I am reminded by his advice daily, “When it is a nightmare to do it.”Elder Holland was referring to the practice that Mormons are encouraged to participate in–family scripture reading, family prayer, and weekly family night time (which Mormons call “Family Home Evening”). All events that for me and my family, the reminder “when it is a nightmare to do it” is more applicable than I would like to admit!
Take scripture reading for example. Many Mormon families make scripture reading, particularly from the Book of Mormon, a daily part of their lives. We believe the words of our former Mormon president, Gordon B. Hinckley when referring to reading the Book of Mormon said,

“There will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God.”

“Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed” (Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 18:21).

“Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellowmen, and trust in our Father in heaven. It is our promise that great blessings will come to all who conscientiously plan and hold weekly family home evenings.”

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a Mormon woman who has been married for forty-four very eventful years, with six children and nearly thirteen grandchildren.  I was raised by worldly and very intellectual parents (not Mormons) who focused on science, education, and culture.  My two siblings and I are very close in age.  Living far away from extended family, I had virtually no experience with babies, toddlers or young kids before I started having my own.  Needless to say, the Family Home Evening (once a week), family prayer (twice a day), and scripture reading (once a day) routine was new to me and quite a challenge.  With an artistic temperament, I was no great organizer.  Things important to running a household would drop out of my mind frequently, and a few times I even forgot my kids at school.

Unsurprisingly, we were never perfect at any of the above, but we tried.  As I read Tiffany’s account of her boisterous children interrupting her efforts to follow the counsel of the Mormon Prophet, I had to laugh.  It brought back memories that are now precious.  She never did mention the spontaneous farting contests, the bathroom jokes just as we were kneeling down to prayer.  In the scriptures there is counsel against “light-mindedness” and “loud laughter” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:121).  Good thing the Lord has a sense of humor.

We pressed on through the years against all odds.  Now we are old enough to see the fruits of our commitment.  Every one of our six children has his or her own personal witness that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  Spiritual experience is central to the development of this kind of witness, and we supported our kids’ independence and freedom to choose as we taught them sound principles.  The kids developed compassion and a desire to serve along with developing their talents and getting educated.  They have served missions for our church but have also served in the US Peace Corps, in the military, and in their own communities.  Along the way, they’ve lived their lives with integrity and honor, doing their best to keep themselves “unspotted from the world,” endeavoring to be chaste and to avoid alcohol and tobacco and drugs, to be honest in school and at work — to take the high road.  Yes, I’m a proud mom (and grandmother), but I actually do miss the nightmare attempts at Family Home Evening, family prayer, and scripture reading.

Tiffany Sowby is a mother of five and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” woman). She tries to find humor, joy, and contentment in the little things life has to offer.

Gale Boyd is Managing Editor for More Good Foundation and a Relief Society President for a small congregation of Mormons in Asia.

Additional Resources:

Strengthening Families, Our Sacred Duty

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons

Jesus Christ in Mormonism

Mormon Youth

Deseret News
Published: Sunday, Jan. 15, 2012 7:00 p.m. MST

David Letterman knows how to get a laugh.Like most comics, he riffs on the day’s news, deadpans the camera and revels in audacity.”Oh, did you hear about this?” the host of CBS’ Late Show with David Letterman asked his audience recently. “A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, now, wait a minute — isn’t Newt in favor of multiple wives?”
Laughter rumbled from the audience followed by applause. The polygamy punch line is a familiar one when it comes to poking fun at Mormons — as though Mormons and polygamy are synonymous in mainstream media. Ironically, the practice that’s most linked to Mormons is a practice most Mormons oppose, according to a groundbreaking new study of Mormons in America released Thursday by the Pew Research Center‘s Forum on Religion and Public Life.

According to the study, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints unequivocally reject polygamy — only 2 percent said the practice is morally acceptable — evidence of a yawning gap in what Mormons believe and how they are perceived. Mormons’ opinions are overwhelmingly conservative, the study shows, but in many ways, their views are also surprising — especially when it comes to opinions on moral issues, divorce, homosexuality and polygamy.

Morality

Mormons also take a significant stance on moral issues in other areas, such as divorce, sex outside of marriage and consumption of alcohol.

Although teachings from the LDS Church emphasize the importance and eternal nature of the family, only 25 percent of Mormons surveyed said divorce is morally wrong, according to the study. That means Mormons are slightly less morally opposed to divorce than the general public.

“For Catholics, divorce does not exist. They think it is not only wrong but it is impossible,” said Matthew Bowman, member of a board of expert advisers to the Pew Research Center for the study and author of “The Mormon People,” a book on the history of the LDS Church. “That has not been true for Mormons. There is theological space for divorce within Mormonism. It is undesirable, but Mormons recognize it is sometimes necessary and sometimes the right thing to do.”

Other moral views revealed in the survey — 54 percent said drinking alcohol was morally wrong, compared with 15 percent of the general public — set Mormons apart, Bowman says. The assumption on the part of non-Mormons is that if Mormons think drinking alcohol is wrong, then they must think everyone who imbibes is morally flawed. That apprehension can make people suspicious of Mormons, and wary of an elitist attitude, he says.

Differences in moral viewpoints can create a stumbling block for Mormon acceptance — not only in high-profile arenas, such as a presidential election, but also in communities.
“What you find throughout the report is a tension,” said David Campbell, assistant professor at Notre Dame and an adviser on the study. “Mormons like to use the phrase, ‘Be in the world but not of the world.’ They are certainly living their lives in the world. They are active and involved in their communities, but they have these beliefs and practices that set them apart a little bit, and sometimes there is conflict.”

Homosexuality

Mormons have some of the most conservative opinions when it comes to homosexuality. The survey asked Mormons if homosexuality should be accepted by society or discouraged by society, with an option for neither, both or “don’t know.” The response — 26 percent said homosexuality should be accepted, 65 percent said it should be discouraged — puts Mormons as the least likely to say homosexuality should be accepted by society. But a 26 percent acceptance rate, with roughly 1 in 4 Mormons saying homosexuality should be accepted, might be surprisingly high to some.

Of particular interest is the fact that only 8 percent of Mormons surveyed identified themselves as liberal, and 66 percent said they were conservative. That means some of those who said homosexuality should be accepted also identify themselves as politically conservative, Bowman says. That distinction illustrates the complexity of Mormons’ opinion on sexuality — that it is rooted more in religious precepts than politics.
Still, it’s difficult to draw a conclusion about Mormons‘ views on homosexuality based on the study, says Pew Research Center adviser Terryl Givens, professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond.

“Results need to be viewed cautiously,” Givens says. “Official LDS pronouncements insist there is a distinction between (sexual) orientation and behavior, but the survey blurs that difference, probably leaving many Mormons unsure how to answer that question. What is clear, however, is that Mormons are trending toward greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, just as society as a whole is, although by a much smaller percentage.”

Polygamy

At one point 120 years ago, some Mormons practiced plural marriage, hence the association between Mormons and polygamy. The practice was discontinued in 1890, but the cultural association persists, perhaps in part because Mormons are sometimes confused with members of the Fundamentalist LDS Church, a polygamist group not affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In the October-November 2011 study of a national sample of 1,019 Mormons, 86 percent said polygamy is morally wrong. That’s a number that surprises Bowman.

Were it not for the confusion surrounding Mormons and the FLDS Church practice of plural marriage, Bowman says that statistic might not be as high.

“It’s my experience that Mormons have a fraught relationship with polygamy,” Bowman said of the study results. “There is a sense that rejecting polygamy identifies a member of the LDS Church and distinguishes us from the fundamentalists. That is a cultural signifier as much as a theological statement.”

Some who responded to the survey, 11 percent, said polygamy is not a moral issue.
Email: achoate@desnews.com

Immigration is a controversial topic in the United States. The survey asked one question on this topic. They were asked which of two statements most closely matched their view, even if they didn’t completely agree. They were asked whether immigrants strengthen or burden the nation. No distinction was made between legal and illegal immigration, leaving those polled to decide for themselves what the question meant.

In the general U.S. population, 45 percent of Americans feel that immigrants strengthen the country, while 44 percent burden it. 12 percent feel that neither or both are true or they have no opinion on the subject. Mormon views closely mirror these statistics. 45 percent of Mormons also believe immigrants strengthen the nation, although a smaller number, 41 percent, consider them a burden on society. The number of Mormons who accept both or neither or who have no opinion is higher, at 14 percent.

These numbers put them at odds with evangelical Christians, one of the few political areas in which they disagree. Within the white evangelical population, 59 percent believe immigrants are a burden, and 27 percent believe they strengthen the country. Like Mormons, 14 percent answered both, neither, or no opinion.

The statistics for Mormons shows a strong divide based on age, income, and education, as well as on religious commitment. Only 36 percent of highly committed Mormons see immigrants as a burden, while 50 percent of those who are less committed see them as a burden. This largely correlates with economic status. 84 percent of Mormons who are highly committed to their religion are college graduates. (The church strongly encourages education, which may be a factor in this.) Only 50 percent of those with high school educations are strongly committed to their faith. This statistic is very unusual in the religious world. For most religions, the least educated are the most religious.

49 percent of Mormons under age 50 see immigrants as a strength. 39 percent of Mormons over 50 see it as a strength.

Beyond the study’s statistics, several other factors influence the Mormon view of immigration. Many Mormons serve missions for their church. For two years, they live wherever they are sent, learning the language and living as the people in that community live. They go into the homes, attend the churches, and do service work in addition to their missionary work. Many of those serve in Spanish countries and have a realistic view of the hardships faced by those people. They come home with a compassionate view of the world and an understanding that Americans have much easier lives than most. The love missionaries almost invariably develop for the people they served influences their views on immigration.

Finally, the church has taken very specific stands on the subject of illegal immigration in recent years. Mormons believe God has sent a prophet to lead His church, just as He has always done in ancient times, and so, Mormons are asked to sustain the prophet as the leader of the Church. Official statements from the prophet or the Church are considered to be from God.

The Church officially endorsed the basic principles of the Utah Compact, a law working to create a balanced legal approach to immigration. In November, 2011, L. Whitney Clayton gave an official statement from the church in honor of the first anniversary of the bill. The statement said in part:

The Utah Compact is consistent with three principles we believe should be carefully balanced when considering immigration:

• We follow Jesus Christ by loving our neighbors. The meaning of neighbor includes all of God’s children, in all places and in all times.
• We recognize an ever-present need to strengthen families. Families are meant to be together. Forced separation of working parents from their children weakens families and damages society.
• We acknowledge that every nation has the right to enforce its laws and secure its borders.

We continue to encourage lawmakers everywhere to consider laws that properly balance love of neighbors and the importance of keeping families together, within the framework of just and enforceable laws.” (See Utah Compact One-Year Anniversary Marked by Utah Community Leaders.)

The official Mormon position is to encourage its members to stay in their homelands or to immigrate legally, but once they are here, however they came, they are to be treated with love, dignity, and respect, and laws should not separate families.

For a more in-depth look at the issue of Mormons and immigration, read the Deseret News article: Mormons’ immigration attitudes set them apart, by Eric Schulzke, Deseret News, published: Saturday, Jan. 14, 2012 8:12 p.m. MST.

This comes on the heels of earlier surveys indicating that 32 percent of non-LDS U.S. adults say the LDS Church is not a Christian religion, and an additional 17 percent are unsure of LDS Christianity. The theological and semantic reasons for this can be complex, but for the 1,019 self-identified Mormons who participated in the Pew survey, their theological position is clear: Mormons believe in Jesus Christ, and they consider themselves to be Christian.

“Certainly in Latter-day Saint theology is this idea that if you understand who you are, you understand that there’s a purpose in life, you understand your connection to God, that certainly has an impact on how you live your life and what you do, but also how you feel about your life and what you are doing,” said Michael Purdy of the LDS Church Public Affairs office.

For the vast majority of Latter-day Saints surveyed, those life choices have much to do with their religious beliefs. Eighty-two percent of survey respondents indicate that religion is “very important” to them, 83 percent say they pray every day and 77 percent say they attend church at least once a week. Beyond that, a stunning 69 percent of respondents fit all three descriptions, saying that religion is very important to them, that they pray every day and that they go to church every week.

“By this measure,” the report says, “Mormons exhibit higher levels of religious commitment than many other religious groups, including white evangelical Christians.”

Part of the explanation for these high numbers may be that the survey focused only on those who self-identified as Latter-day Saints.

“The method they used tended to identify people who are strongly committed,” said BYU sociologist Marie Cornwall , who advised the Pew Forum on the new survey. “They don’t have the people who are kind of marginal. But that’s okay; we just have to be careful with the way we interpret the findings.”

One such finding is the relationship between religious commitment and education among Mormons.

David Campbell, a University of Notre Dame associate professor and another adviser on the survey, noted that the more educated respondents were, the higher their levels of religious commitment.

“I was a little surprised by that,” said Campbell, who is LDS and who has extensively studied on the role of religion in the public square. “The more educated a Mormon is, the more likely they are to be wholehearted in their commitment to the church and its teachings.”

That is different from other churches, he said, where more education tends to lead to more religious skepticism.

Pew Research Center officials also noted “a significant gender gap in religious commitment, with more Mormon women than men exhibiting a high level of religious commitment (73 percent vs. 65 percent).”

According to the Pew report, a similar “gender gap” is seen among the general public. A 2007 survey found 36 percent of U.S. women exhibited a high level of religious commitment, compared with 24 percent of men.

One series of questions asked about what it means to be a good Mormon. According to the respondents, in order to be a good Mormon it is “essential” to believe Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ (80 percent), work to help the poor (73 percent), hold regular family home evenings (51 percent), not drink coffee and tea (49 percent) and not watch R-rated movies (32 percent).

Combining those who said “essential” with those who said “important but not essential,” the order changes a little bit: working to help the poor (97 percent), holding regular family home evenings (96 percent), believing Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ (93 percent), not drinking coffee and tea (81 percent) and not watching R-rated movies (79 percent).

“I think that result is rather interesting,” said Cornwall. “Mormons are known for not drinking coffee or tea and not watching R-rated movies. But compared to believing that Joseph Smith saw God and working for the poor, Mormons don’t seem to focus on the coffee and tea as much as people probably think.”

Other manifestations of religious commitment in the survey included:

The number of respondents (65 percent) who say they hold a current temple recommend (a certificate from local ecclesiastical leaders, issued every other year, indicating that an individual has permission from the church to enter LDS temples and participate in temple rites and sacraments)

The number (79 percent) who say they pay tithing (donating 10 percent of their income to the church)

The number (27 percent) who have served full-time missions for the church (this number includes 43 percent of men and 11 percent of women and varies significantly according to the age and education of the respondent, as well as whether or not the respondent was raised Mormon)

The number (82 percent) who keep food in storage for emergencies or disasters, as they have been counseled to do by LDS Church leaders (This number includes 23 percent who say they have three months’ worth, 35 percent who say they have more than three months’ worth and 23 percent who say they have less than three months’ worth)

The percentage who pay tithing is especially interesting to break down. According to the survey tabulations, “tithing is most common among Mormons with the highest levels of religious commitment (96 percent) … fully 91 percent of college graduates say they pay tithing … compared with 66 percent of those with a high school diploma or less education. And among those whose family income exceeds $30,000, 83 percent say they pay tithing, compared with 69 percent of those with incomes of less than $30,000.”

While previous surveys have clearly established LDS agreement with certain key Christian doctrines — 90 percent of Mormons believe in God, 91 percent believe the Bible is the word of God and 98 percent believe in life after death — the new survey explores Mormon confidence in points of doctrine that are unique to LDS theology. And in these points of doctrine, Mormons proved to be unified and believing. They believe overwhelmingly that God and Jesus Christ are separate physical beings (94 percent), that the president of the LDS Church is a prophet of God (94 percent), that families can be bound together eternally in temple ceremonies (95 percent) and that the Book of Mormon was written by ancient prophets and translated by Joseph Smith (91 percent).

Overall, 77 percent say they believe “wholeheartedly” in all of the teachings of the LDS Church. That number increases to 82 percent among Mormons ages 18-49, and to 85 percent among Mormons who are college graduates.

“Ultimately, I suppose other Americans will judge our church — and perhaps all churches — by their relevance in how they touch and improve human lives right here on Earth as well as what they offer in the life to come,” wrote Michael Otterson, Public Affairs director for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in his “On Faith” blog in the Washington Post. “Meanwhile, we welcome the friendship and regard of all groups, even as we retain our commitment to a unique identity. In the end … Latter-day Saints will strive to be good Mormons, true believers, kind neighbors and faithful friends.

Pew Study Reflects Mormons’ Religious Commitment to Christ, Mormon Beliefs in Tithes and Temples

Mormons in America

Being parents is just what they always wanted. And they love it.

“Of course we have our crazy moments,” Thompson says, “but for the most part we just try to find the good things in the day and remember that they’re only going to be little for so long.”

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Thompsons believe that maintaining a strong marriage and raising and teaching children are essential keys to happiness and their most important responsibilities on earth.

In fact, 81 percent of Mormons say being a good parent is “one of the most important things in life,” according to a new survey by the Pew Research Center‘s Forum on Religion & Public Life — the first survey of Mormons about Mormons, by a non-LDS research organization.

The survey of more than 1,000 self-identified Latter-day Saints from across the country asked how accepted Mormons feel in American culture, as well as their thoughts on religious practices, political issues and family roles.

The survey showed that Mormons are more likely to be married than the general population, 67 percent of the sample size compared to 52 percent of the general public.

And 85 percent of married Mormons married other Mormons. Protestants marry other Protestants 81 percent of the time and Catholics marry each other 78 percent of the time.

With an emphasis on marriage, it should come as no surprise that the Mormons surveyed also had, on average, more children (2.6) than the general U.S. population (1.8).

Thompson grew up wanting to have a large family and be a good mother, but she and her husband have struggled with infertility for nearly nine years — a trial punctuated by the joys of two different adoptions, Ellie, then the twins.

“We said when we finally get to be parents, we’re going to actually sit down and take a little more time to focus on our kids,” Thompson said, who lives in northern Utah. “I’m not saying that other people don’t do that — the perspective we have is just a little different.”

Other Latter-day Saints share the Thompson’s enthusiasm to put family first.

“Family is at the core of our faith,” says Jane Clayson Johnson, a Latter-day Saint and former anchor of CBS’s “The Early Show” who prefers the title of mom to two young children and stepmom to three older ones. “There are so many distractions today that all force us outward, away from core relationships. What our faith does is turn us back toward deep, rich, meaningful relationships in families.”

“It teaches us that families are where we find meaning,” continued Clayson from her home in Boston. “The work I do in my family is the most important work that I’ll ever do.”

Among the general public, 50 percent list being a good parent as “one of the most important things in life,” with 44 percent listing it as “very important but not most important.”

That shouldn’t be taken to mean that the average American doesn’t value marriage or family, just that they don’t “go to church every week and get told that’s what they’re supposed to do,” says Marie Cornwall, a professor of sociology at Brigham Young University. Cornwall advised the Pew Center for this survey.

“There’s nothing to suggest that family life is less valued in the United States over time,” she said, “but there’s more that suggests that people are feeling like it’s not possible for them to attain that.”

The pressure comes when a “successful” marriage is defined as having a good job, a hefty retirement account and a lovely home with a white picket fence, Cornwall said. So when people can’t achieve that in today’s tough economy, many feel like they’ve failed.

“For Mormons, there’s a spiritual aspect brought to that (definition of success),” she said, “an effort, in terms of sermons, to try and downplay the material and place more emphasis on the relationships.”

When the survey asked Mormons about working arrangements in families, nearly six out of 10 Mormons indicated they would prefer a marriage where the man works and the woman stays home to care for the home and the children.

LDS college graduates liked this marital structure more than any other subgroup, with 71 percent of them preferring the man to work and the woman to stay home.

In the general population, only 30 percent of Americans would prefer a marriage where the husband works and the wife stays home. Among religiously unaffiliated Americans, it drops to 15 percent who would pick such a scenario.

Almost four-in-10 Mormons would prefer that both parents work and both parents help with child rearing and housework.

For American Fork mom Ruth Ann Dupaix, 37, it’s not a black-or-white decision. Throughout her marriage she has both worked and stayed at home.

“The way we look at it, we try to make it a partnership,” Dupaix says. “It’s more who’s able at the time to do it best. It’s working together, a give and take.”

When she and her husband, Geoff, were first married, her job helped pay for his school. When he finished, she kept working because her employer would pay for her to complete her degree, and education was important to both of them.

Dupaix stopped working when her sixth child was born but has recently gone back to work at a local grocery store three nights a week to help fulfill a family goal to reduce their debt load.

It’s a big pay cut from the job she used to have at a bank, but it’s a more family friendly schedule.

“As part of a family you make sacrifices,” she said. “I’m gone when the kids are asleep, but I’m still here during the day when they need me.”

Additional Resources:

For original source Deseret News article: Mormon family marriage focus Pew.

Mormons in America Pew Study.