The Mormon Prophet has told women that we can be blessed by Heavenly Father if we “support, sustain, uphold, and bless” our husbands. Women have an amazing power to influence and build up those around them, and it is the duty of women to use that powerful influence to encourage our families to choose the right.

It may seem like a lot for the Mormon Church to ask women to constantly lift up children and support husbands, but the blessings of that service are amazing. When we reach out to others to lift them up and help them on the right path, we can forget our own problems. The Lord has limitless power to help each of us with our own problems, and as we do his work by supporting our families in righteousness, he will do the work we cannot do by relieving some of the burden of our problems.

Jesus Christ has said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Sustaining our families is truly taking upon us the yoke of Christ; by doing so we can leave behind our own burdens. Not only do we then bear a light burden, but our burden is to be a light to others-an example of Christ and a help to those in need. As women, we are divinely designed by God to be nurturing, supportive, sensitive, and uplifting to those around us, and that influence is so badly needed in the family. In a world where children are pressured to pick up damaging habits, a world where men are undervalued and often scorned, wives and mothers have the power to overshadow these influences in the lives of their husbands and children. Even when husbands may not seem deserving of kindness, support, and outreach, women can leave the door open for their change and betterment.

We come to this earth charged with a mission: to learn to love and serve one another. To best help us accomplish this, God has placed us in families, for he knows that is where we can best learn to overcome selfishness and pride and to sacrifice for others and to make happiness and helpfulness and humility and love the very essence of our character. (John H. Groberg, “The Power of Family Prayer,” Ensign, May 1982, 50)

Sometimes we learn humility and gratitude when spouses or children give selflessly, but it seems that we are more often required to meet the needs of others. Mormons are encouraged to accept family responsibilities. While there are trials to family life, there is also great and deep joy. Our Heavenly Father knows each of us, and he gave us families not only because he knew that they would be the best for helping us grow up, but also because he knew that we could help these family members in ways nobody else can.

Like a math textbook, families are full of problems-and none of them are easy. Some problems seem tedious, some require knowledge of difficult concepts, and others seem out of our hands. But family problems, like math problems, are designed to help us learn. By reading the scriptures, including the Book of Mormon, we learn ways to be more like Christ; we then turn to the “homework pages”: our families. The knowledge of how to act is crucial, but not as crucial as the actions themselves in our learning and growth.

Because children learn by example, it is crucial that we let children see us doing the kinds of things we want them to do, like serving others, being happy, and studying the scriptures. An even better way to teach about the good feelings and blessings that come from keeping the commandments is to involve children in our activities and talk to them about the experience afterward. Children have different learning styles, so displaying good behaviors, having them join you in righteous activities, and then talking to them about the experience can help many children to understand how and why we obey God.

Family is of the utmost importance to Mormons, and we believe that family members, and especially parents, have responsibilities to the family. The family is the only steady and consistent part of a child’s life. Family remains the same no matter who their friends are, who is teaching them at school, what town they live in, or what Sunday School class they’re in. Only parents can truly know how their child is progressing, how he learns, what he likes to do, and where he needs to improve. Thus, only parents have the time and ability to teach directly to the needs of their children.

Children learn quickly when they are youngest, and the instruction and examples they receive in the very early years can be the most instrumental in forming who they are. If they develop a relationship of prayer and study with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when they are young, they will be able to rely on that for comfort for a lifetime. By nature, children trust, love, and watch their parents more than any other adults. Parents have a unique opportunity to guide their children’s lives in a way no other people can. And of course, with this great power, parents are the only ones truly responsible for the teaching of their children.

There are so many reasons to teach our children. Their salvation and ours hang in the balance. But more than that, these children were born with and will develop amazing talents and abilities. They have special gifts that will allow them to bless the lives of others in ways nobody else can. Our posterity, like Abraham’s, can be a blessing to the world, but first we must give them what they need for their minds and spirits to grow.

“We need to make our homes a place of refuge from the storm, which is increasing in intensity all about us. Even if the smallest openings are left unattended, negative influences can penetrate the very walls of our homes.”

(L. Tom Perry, “The Importance of the Family,” Ensign, May 2003, 40) (From Family Gems)

How do we make our homes a refuge? In the beliefs of Mormonism, parents are the foremost teachers, the foremost examples for their children. If parents are not firm in their convictions, if they expose their children to things that they shouldn’t, if they act up themselves, they will influence their children to be uncertain about the convictions that the parents are actually trying to teach them.

But even faithful, earnest parents need to be careful. Indeed, Mormon leaders counsel that parents keep close communication with their children, know who they are and what they’re doing. The idea is not to smother or to oppress, but to be there when a child is uncertain, or is encountering something they don’t know what to deal with. Parents must be there, as a strength.

“Alma the Younger, when ‘racked with torment . . . [and] harrowed up by the memory of [his] many sins,’ remembered hearing his father teach about the coming of ‘Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world’ (Alma 36:17). His father’s words led to his conversion. In like manner, our teaching and testimony will be remembered by our children.”

(Robert D. Hales, “Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty,” Ensign, May 1999, 32)

(From Family Gems)

So, it’s frustrating. When you teach children correct principles, when you live Mormon doctrine as well as preach it, when you are, in everything you can be, an example to your children–when you do this and they don’t seem to understand, when they openly stray, what do you do? Do you despair? Do you decide you were a bad parent, or that the Mormon Church is false if you couldn’t teach it to your children?

They will remember. When their struggles bring them into dark places and the light is there, waiting to be reached to–when they walk in darkness and long for truth, it will be there. They will remember. They will return.

Also, I try to have them understand that if a present costs more it doesn’t necessarily means that it is worth more. I noticed for example this conversation between one of my children and a friend.

“What did you get for Christmas last year ?”

“Oh, I got this jacket”

“..how much did it cost?”….

It looks like sometimes they don’t really know the value of a gift and they assume that if a present is more expensive it must be more valuable and (unfortunately) a proof that the parents love the child more.

Because of these my recurring thoughts during Christmas Season I really appreciated the LDS (Mormon) Gem I received this morning:

“The meaning of more and less is not always crystal clear. There are times when less is in reality more and times when more can be less. For instance, less pursuit of materialism may enable more family togetherness. More indulgence of children may result in less understanding of life’s important values.”

(H. David Burton, “More Holiness Give Me,” Ensign, Nov. 2004, 99)

But of course you love your children—how do you show it? You’ll find that what makes your children feel loved may be different from how you feel loved, or how your other children feel loved. You need to know your children and be aware of who they are. There are a number of ways to find out how they feel appreciated and loved.

Read more at our site’s new article about Loving Your Children.

The Lord has said:

” ‘Inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. . . .

” ‘And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord’ (D&C 68:25, 28).

According to Elder Hales, “Children who are taught to pray and who pray with their parents when young are more likely to pray when they are older. Those who are taught when they are young to love God and believe He lives will more often continue their spiritual development and increase their feelings of love as they mature.” (Robert D. Hales, “How Will Our Children Remember Us?” Ensign, Nov. 1993, 9-10)

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Mormon Church said:

“We cannot and we must not allow the school, community, television, or even Church organizations to establish our children’s values. The Lord has placed this duty with mothers and fathers. It is one from which we cannot escape and one that cannot be delegated. Others may help, but parents remain accountable. Therefore, we must guard the sanctity of our homes, because that is where children develop their values, attitudes, and habits for everyday living.” ( M. Russell Ballard, “Teach the Children,” Ensign, May 1991, 79-80)

I have noticed how easy it is for our kids, especially teenagers, to be influenced by their peers. Even when parents are teaching the correct principles they still are tempted to follow the crowd of their friends without always thinking properly about consequences.

Fathers and mothers have the duty of teaching their children and they can’t delegate this duty to anybody else. However, fathers and mothers are more motivated and inspired to teach their children when they have an eternal perspective, when they know the real purpose of what they are doing.

This is one of the reasons because if we desire to live in a better world we should be promoting missionary work. Probably more good people will improve their parenting by learning about the Gospel of Jesus Christ than by participating in most parenting seminaries.