Workforce Discrimination Against Mothers

The study was done by Cornell University professors of sociology Shelly Cornell, Stephan Bernard and In Paik. In a lab setting, they gave employers two resumes from women who had identical skills and experience, but differing parental status. They were asked to select one for entry-level professional positions. Employers rated the woman with children as being less committed to her job and even less qualified—without having met or interviewed the women and despite the clearly identical qualifications on paper. Women without children were 1.8 times more likely to receive a recommendation for hiring, and if hired, were given lower salaries than the non-parental women. The study showed that men received the reverse treatment—being a father was considered a bonus that made a man more committed to his job.

When the researchers took the experiment into the real world, sending these resumes to actual companies, the results were even more dramatic. Women without children received 2.1 times more callbacks from their resumes than women with children. Men with children received 1.7 times more callbacks than men who did not have them.

In addition to simple discrimination, women returning to the workforce after taking time off to raise their children are often told their skills are too outdated, or they may face age discrimination. Many people today are skeptical of anyone who has been unemployed for any time at all. These all create limitations for women who want to give their child or children the benefit of mom always at home while they are young, but who then wish to return to work.

Overcoming Discrimination When Returning to the Workforce

It is important to remember that it is illegal for an employer in the United States to ask about parental status, and prospective employees do not need to volunteer the information. That said, many employers today review a person’s online and social media presence, and marital and parental status may be revealed there. However, job seekers should not include this information on resumes or discuss it in an interview without considering how to word it so as to not reveal that you have children still in the home.

While at home, women can keep their skills updated. Even a half hour per day spent working on essential job skills, reading industry publications, and keeping up with current developments can make it easier to return later. You will need to be able to show you are current in the field, even if you have not worked in it recently.

It is also important to continue the networking process by attending school reunions, joining networking groups (and not bringing children to meetings), and staying in touch with former coworkers or managers.

Many women discover during their time away that their interests change. They develop new interests and hobbies, often as a result of helping their children learn something. Parenting brings with it new skills and priorities as well. Women returning to the workforce should recognize that they have the option of starting a new career. It may be related to something they’ve done before or it may be entirely new. While at home, they can begin to build credentials in small ways and to develop contacts in the field.

Self-employment is an option many women at home select as a way to remain in the home while bringing in income. When you’re ready to return to work, that small business can become a full-time business or it can provide a way to explain your absence from the workforce without mentioning children. No one will know you worked at your home business just a few hours a week. Registering the business, creating a website for it, and keeping up your LinkedIn profile will lend credibility to your claim of self-employment, since many employers will research to see if you appear to have really been self-employed.

It is helpful to begin to think about how to make a re-entry early in your parenting years so you can begin to build your re-entry platform. You may change directions from time to time, but a plan keeps you moving forward should you decide to return to work someday.

Read more about how the workforce treats mothers.

Studies Support the Importance of Fathers

Studies, in fact, show that children who do not have their fathers in their lives suffer serious consequences. Children whose fathers are involved in their educations have better school performance, higher IQs, and better language skills. Their literacy skills are higher and their behavior is better. Involved fatherhood leads to children with more compassion, a better understanding of gender roles, and better decision-making skills.

Children whose father has a good relationship with their mother and who spends time with her have better emotional health. Boys who see their fathers treating their mothers well are more likely to have successful romantic relationships as adults and to treat women with respect. Girls with this type of father are less likely to enter or remain in an abusive relationship. Studies show that children whose fathers are married to the mothers of their children are more likely to achieve the positive outcomes outlined above.

(See Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, U.S. Children’s Bureau Rosenberg, Jeffrey., Wilcox, W. Bradford, The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children Year Published: 2006.)

Unfortunately, despite the overwhelming research that proves that children need and benefit from strong fathers, society has launched an attack on fathers. It has made a selfish and false argument that children need a parent, but that any parent will do. The truth is that children need a father and a mother and when those two parents are their natural parents, the outcomes are better than when the adults are not. This is not to say that stepfathers and single mothers don’t play important roles in the lives of the children. A stepfather or adoptive father can provide the role-modeling and emotional support a child needs from a man. However, in the best-case scenario, children also have their natural fathers in their lives. When that best-case scenario is not possible, stepfathers and adoptive fathers can make a world of difference to a child.

Both Fathers and Mothers Are Needed as Role Models

Regardless, however, children need both a male and female parent to provide appropriate role-modeling and to demonstrate gender behaviors. Studies have shown that men and women parent differently, and so having one parent of each gender gives children a balance that is what God had in mind when He determined that children dould be born only with the participation of each gender.

The media often portrays fathers as bumbling and incompetent, something to laugh about. By doing so, they encourage the myth that fathers are unnecessary or only useful for entertainment. We need to start showing more respect for fatherhood if we want men to take their fatherhood roles seriously and if we want women to put a father into their children’s lives. Women need to be taught the importance of selecting good fathers for their children—ultimately, they have control over that choice and so they need to be taught how to recognize a potentially good father before they themselves become adults.

Society has to move away from pretending fathers are an unimportant part of a child’s life if we want to have any possibility of changing the world. World-changing begins with family-changing and that begins with mothers and fathers protecting both roles as sacred and essential. It also requires both men and women who understand the importance of fatherhood to teach those who do not understand. They need to provide the role-modeling children (and adults) do not have from their own fathers and to not be afraid to talk about fatherhood as a wonderful role for a man.

It’s time to celebrate fatherhood—not to pretend it’s an obsolete role in a child’s life.

“In my opinion, members of the Church have the most effective cure for our decaying family life. It is for men, women, and children to honor and respect the divine roles of both fathers and mothers in the home. In so doing, mutual respect and appreciation among the members of the Church will be fostered by the righteousness found there” (James E. Faust, “Fathers, Come Home,” April 1993, General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).

For almost four decades, studies have consistently shown that children grow up better when they have a father in the home and suffer the most when their father is not present at all and there is no other father figure. The role of the father, while not more important than the role of the mother, is essential. “…Research consistently shows that the married mother-and-father family is a better environment for raising children than the cohabitating (living together) mother-and-father family.” (See The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children, Author(s): Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, U.S. Children’s Bureau Rosenberg, Jeffrey Wilcox, W. Bradford, Year Published: 2006.)

Fathers Improve Children’s Outcomes

Studies show that daughters without fathers in their lives are more likely to become pregnant as teens and to suffer from depression. A British study showed children of both genders were more likely to do well in school and to stay out of trouble if they had a father in their lives.

The article explains:

The Department of Health and Human Services summarizes a father’s vital role this way: “Involved fathers provide practical support in raising children and serve as models for their development. Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior compared to children who have uninvolved fathers. Committed and responsible fathering during infancy and early childhood contributes emotional security, curiosity, and math and verbal skills.”

 

Men and women parent differently and these differences offer children a chance to see multiple ways of handling problems and also let them see how two people work out those differences so they are on the same page. The differences in male and female parenting are designed to complement each other so the child has a more balanced childhood—mothers protect while fathers challenge, for instance.

Fathers Are Not Just Second Adults

Because there is a clear need to reassure mothers who must raise children alone, we sometimes minimize the importance a father plays in a child’s life. While it’s not always possible to have that ideal situation and many mothers do an amazing job on their own, it is still important not to translate that into a belief that fathers are non-essential, because that is not true. They do play a critical role that cannot be filled by someone else in an exact way, although others can, without question, help lessen the challenges.

Men provide a role-model for the male life and character to both their sons and their daughters. When the parents are married, they demonstrate appropriate relationships in marriage. Children who are rejected by a biological parent often struggle with self-esteem issues. In the best of all situations, children are raised by both their biological parents.

Sociologist, Dr. David Popenoe, an expert on fatherhood, is quoted in the above government report as saying, “Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.”

Mormons teach parents that God planned for children to have both a mother and a father, which is why He started the world with Adam and Eve. They issued a proclamation on families that clearly outlines God’s plans for families, which include a mother and a father working together as a team to raise their children.

Additional Resource:

Read The Family: A Proclamation to the World

A child’s most important learning comes from his parents and language is a critical part of that learning. Strong vocabulary and grammar skills are important when a child enters school, because much of learning is done by reading and writing, and most personal learning is also done this way. Teachers tend to view a child with good language skills as being more intelligent than those without them, even though there are many types of intelligence. Solid language skills give a child more tools for understanding and organizing his world. They are essential for a productive life.

Building a child’s language skills begins right at birth. Although a child may not speak until he’s nine months or older, he is absorbing language. He will be able to understand language long before he can speak it. However, to give meaning to the gibberish around him, he must listen to a great deal of language, given in meaningful context, so the sounds begin to make sense.

This can be seen in an adult learning a new language through immersion. At first, as he listens to the people around him speaking, he just hears a never-ending wave of words. In time, however, he can hear individual words, even if he can’t understand them. Then, as he interacts with people, he begins to understand the most important words and eventually, he is making sentences. Babies have the same learning experience, but due to their age, learn much more quickly. It is important to give them as much exposure to language as possible in their years of fastest learning.

Talk to your newborn throughout the day. When she’s awake, place her near you as you’re doing your chores and discuss with her what you’re doing, using complete sentences, as if she were an adult. Take some time each day to do a “talking tour” of the home. Carry her around and show her several things, placing her hands on them and naming them-just a single word. Then add a sentence, and finally, discuss it. “Book. This is a book. Every night I read you a book. I love books. Don’t you? This book is about a princess. Book. Book.” You might feel silly doing this with an infant, but you’re entertaining her, stimulating her, and exposing her to focused language. Since we don’t really know when those words become meaningful, we must start immediately to make sure we’re talking to her when the time comes.

Another way to stimulate language in an infant is to read to her from the very day of her birth. Bring a book to the hospital and read it aloud to your child. Even if you’re certain she’s not paying attention, read to her every day of her life. Start with  a few books meant for infants, and follow those, in the same session, with a picture book meant for preschoolers. Then read a chapter of a children’s novel or an adult book (carefully chosen, of course) as she falls asleep. This allows you time to read your scriptures, study history, or do something else mentally stimulating as your child listens in. You’ll find she’s paying attention to those chapter books much sooner than you expect-you’ll find a name from the book being assigned to a toddler’s doll, for instance, so do choose wisely. Don’t save all the reading for the end of the day. Reading to an infant is a lovely rocking chair activity any time of the day-and gives you an excuse to sit down and relax.

Use multiple senses when teaching a child language. When you’re introducing her to her body parts, first point to your own nose and say, “Nose.” Then touch her nose as you say the same word, introducing touch to the experience. She will soon learn what a nose looks like and that she has one herself, even though she can’t easily see it. Periodically do this in front of a mirror, so she can see her own nose. In time, she will realize that baby in the mirror is her. Before handing anything to her, label it.

Baby talk is controversial. Some studies suggest it’s helpful, but today, many parents believe it only confuses a child. After all, why waste time teaching her a word she can’t use the rest of her life? She has only a limited amount of learning time before her rate of learning slows, so many parents feel it’s foolish to waste time teaching her one version of a word, only to have to struggle to un-teach it later. In addition, many parents have trouble letting go of those cute words later on, if they’ve gotten into the habit of using them. Speaking in grammatically correct sentences exposes a child to correct grammar from the start and may lead to earlier use of grammatically correct, complete sentences.

Don’t limit your vocabulary to words a child already knows. The only way she will learn new words is to hear them often. No word is too hard for a child-ambulate is no longer a word than is dinosaur, and the only reason more preschoolers use the word dinosaur than know the word ambulate is because parents are more likely to teach the animal word than the other one. If you want a child to learn a word, use it often and the child will learn it as easily as she learns words more commonly taught to small children.

Children need a wide range of experiences in order to have large vocabularies. Even small children should be taken to many places and given the language to talk about it. Take them shopping in small doses, even though it’s challenging. Go to the park, the zoo, child-friendly museums, and on walks through the neighborhood. The more they experience, the larger their vocabulary will become. Learning about a farm through a book is good, but going to a farm and petting a real cow is better, because it involves more senses and creates more memories. Naturally, a parent will discuss the experience as it happens. It’s not necessary to deliver never-ending lectures. Children also need time to experience things on their own, to feel, to think, and to talk, but they should be given the vocabulary to define the experience.

Summary of Language Development Guidelines:

• Avoid television, even if the program is meant to help babies learn.
• Don’t watch television in front of a child younger than two.
• Speak to a child often throughout the day, beginning at birth.
• Teach vocabulary by naming specific items.
• Use good grammar and complete sentences.
• Use a diversified and challenging vocabulary.
• Read to babies from birth and include material that appears too hard for her.
• Give her a wide range of real-life experiences.

by Valerie Steimle

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints raise their families to be contributing members of society. The topic of work concerns many parents, as they consider how to help their children learn that work is a necessary part of life.

To be a good person, first be a good parent.

In pondering how important work is in a family setting, this little parable comes to mind:  There once were two families who were neighbors on the same block—one called the Lazy Lugs the other called the Busy Bees.  The Lazy Lugs never caught on to the idea that work was a good thing.  The parents tried to do the least possible work around their home, and their children just wanted to watch TV all day.  No one wanted to help make dinner.  Laundry was thrown on the floor, and Dad didn’t like to put in a good day’s work. Their lawn was long and unkempt. The children never learned to help, because the parents never taught them.  Apparently, the parents never learned that lesson either. Order and happiness were not to be seen.  School work got pushed aside, and grades were very poor. By the end of the day, junk food and chaos was what was left at home.   Self-esteem was very low in their family, because there was nothing accomplished.

Now the family at the Busy Bees’ house was a different story.  The children were taught to help at home, having a chore or two to do each day.  Dad put in a good day’s work.  Mom organized the household with nutritious meals, and there was order and happiness.  Their house was orderly and the lawn well-kept. The work ethic had been taught in this home, and everyone liked to help, although it was not perfect.  Grades at school reflected this work ethic, and the Busy Bees felt good about themselves, because they had accomplished what was needed to be done to keep a home happy.

To some families, work is a four letter word, where others invest in keeping the household functioning by helping and doing their share.   People need to know that working is a good part of life.  The baby boomers may have caught on to the idea, but I don’t know how much the next generation has learned.  President David O. McKay, the ninth prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was quoted as saying, “The privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success” (As quoted by F. D. Richards, “The Gospel of Work,” Improvement Era, Dec. 1969, p. 101).

It is our responsibility as parents to teach our children to work.  Not only to work but to enjoy the work they are doing.  Paul W. Robinson, in his book, “Manipulating Parents,” says “Society expects people to work for what they want and to be considerate of others.”

Work doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  It should feel good to accomplish an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work.  But the great waste of time at many places of business might tell us what people think about work.  It’s always better to learn at a young age the importance of work and its benefits than to wait to find out by trial and error.  Working together as a family not only teaches this, it provides time together.

For example, every year we planted a vegetable garden somewhere in the yard.  In doing this work as a family, we taught our children the rewards of taking care of a garden, which carried over to working hard at a job.  The fruits of their labors were their reward, when good things to eat became ripe.  We taught them that hard work pays off. They did their school work, maintained great jobs, and were liked by their bosses because they worked hard at a job. They were a credit to society.  There are numerous accounts of parents taking the time to work with and teach their children.  It is fulfilling for both the parents and children and has a lasting effect throughout everyone’s lives like the Busy Bees.

Strong families depend on a good work ethic, not just to get things done, but for family members to feel good about themselves and their accomplishments.  Everyone has to do his share.

It’s not an easy task to make work look like fun for young children.  Getting them to want to work requires consistent guidance from parents.  But if taught with patience, children get used to doing chores as they grow older, and they realize that working is not so bad after all.  We are taught from the Doctrine and Covenants in 121:41 to use “gentleness, and meekness and by love unfeigned to persuade and teach our children the blessings of work.

Raising children to be contributing members of society is a challenge in anyone’s book. Even more so today with all distractions and temptations. Teaching children to find joy in a job well done will add to their happiness and fulfillment.  It is one thing they will be sure to thank you when they get older.

Visit my website http://www.strengthenyourhome.com
A look at strengthening the American Family

Check out my blog:  http://www.valeriesteimle.blogspot.com/