What Do Mormons Believe About Families?

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes inadvertently called the “Mormon Church”) and it seems like almost every lesson that we have in Church focuses on one of two things: Jesus Christ or the family. In a sacred document titled The Family: A Proclamation to the World we read:

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

“Central to the Creator’s plan” are extremely powerful words. To be central means that everything revolves around it.

Why Are Families Important?

On Mormon.org, in the section titled, “Why is family so important to Mormons” we read:

Our families provide a setting for much of the growth we experience in life.

 

In our families we love, serve, teach, and learn from each other. We share our joys and our sorrows. Family ties may bring us difficult challenges, but they also give us strength and some of our greatest happiness .

For me personally, my family means everything to me! I still go to my Mom and Dad, and my siblings, to share my joys and my sorrows. They are there for me, and they sustain me. They help me, by their example, to be a better follower of Jesus Christ. Now that I have my own family, that reservoir of strength has expanded in heavenly ways. My love has been multiplied with each new family member who enters my life. I never thought I could love somebody so much before I met my husband. And then I was astonished when we had our first child and my capacity to love was enlarged even more. I know that will continue to happen as each new family member comes.

What if I Don’t Have a Family?

You may be asking yourself, “what about me, I don’t have a family?” Pay attention to how you feel as you read the story of a Mormon woman, who served in a leadership position for the Relief Society organization:

For almost 17 years now [The Family: A Proclamation to the World] has reinforced that our most significant responsibilities are centered in strengthening families and homes—no matter our current circumstances. Barbara Thompson, [former] second counselor in the Relief Society general presidency, was in the Salt Lake Tabernacle when President Hinckley first read the proclamation. “That was a great occasion,” she remembers. “I felt the significance of the message. I also found myself thinking, ‘This is a great guide for parents. It is also a big responsibility for parents.’ I thought for a moment that it really didn’t pertain too much to me since I wasn’t married and didn’t have any children. But almost as quickly I thought, ‘But it does pertain to me. I am a member of a family. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a niece, and a granddaughter. I do have responsibilities—and blessings—because I am a member of a family. Even if I were the only living member of my family, I am still a member of God’s family, and I have a responsibility to help strengthen other families.’”

 

Fortunately, we are not left alone in our efforts. “The greatest help,” says Sister Thompson, “we will have in strengthening families is to know and follow the doctrines of Christ and rely on Him to help us” (“Guardians of the Hearth,” Ensign, Feb. 2012).

Will Sister Thompson ever receive a family of her own? Of course she will–whether in this life or the next, she will get her family! How is this possible? Enjoy these words by the Mormon apostle Jeffrey R. Holland, “As prophets have repeatedly taught from this pulpit, ultimately “no blessing shall be withheld” from the faithful, even if those blessings do not come immediately” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She is a Mother” Ensign, May 1997).

What Can we do to Strengthen the Family?

The Boston Globe was interviewing the late Mormon prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, about The Church of Jesus Christ, and he said this:

We have a family home evening program once a week [Monday night] across the Church in which parents sit down with their children. They study the scriptures. They talk about family problems. They plan family activities and things of that kind. I don’t hesitate to say if every family in the world practiced that one thing, you’d see a very great difference in the solidarity of the families of the world’ (interview, Boston Globe, 14 Aug. 2000).

I witness that each time we do family home evening; we leave with an increased awareness of God and His love for us as His own family.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World also teaches specific things that families can do to be strengthened:

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

Can Families Be Together Forever?

Yes! Yes! A resounding, YES! Families are designed to be forever. And like Elder Holland said, if you are faithful, no blessing will be withheld from you, including that of an eternal family. Mormons believe that you have to participate in sacred ordinances, which are only available in Mormon temples, in order to be qualified for an eternal family. It is in those sacred edifices that you prove your faithfulness to God, by being worthy to make and keep sacred covenants with Him (two-way promises); anybody can get a recommend if they 1) are a member of The Church of Jesus Christ and 2) keep the commandments of God. So yes, even you could go to the temple if you really wanted to (send a message to me in a comment, and I will be sure to let you know how!)

This is exciting stuff, my friends! Can’t you just feel the power and the urgency for establishing and strengthening families and homes? This is the work of God, and it is not only important but it is vital to our souls! Please, please, find out more by meeting with Mormon missionaries. And really, if you want to learn more, comment on this page and I will respond to you the next time I am on my computer! You are a child of God, and He needs you to join Him in the great cause of the family. And he greatly desires for you to enjoy all of the great blessings that He has available—including having an eternal family—in fact, that is why He does what He does. I know this to be true—with all of my mind and with all of my heart.

Additional Resource:

Strengthening Families

What is the purpose of the priesthood of Christ?

An apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ, Elder M. Russell Ballard, said in a recent Mormon conference address:

The primary purpose of this priesthood power is to bless, sanctify, and purify us so we can live together with our families in the presence of our heavenly parents, bound by priesthood sealings, participating in the marvelous work of God and Jesus Christ in forever expanding Their light and glory (“This is My Work and My Glory,” Ensign, May 2013).

 

In essence, the purpose of the priesthood is to provide the way for families to be together forever. Of course, those who administer to priesthood duties do other things, like blessing those who are sick and afflicted with holy consecrated oil, as was done in Biblical times:

Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him (James 5:14, 15).

These “assignments” of the priesthood all help in an effort to fulfilling this purpose. The priesthood of Christ is a real power that God has restored to the earth through the prophet Joseph Smith. And because of it, God’s purpose can be fulfilled, “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39).

What about Women in the Priesthood?

Men are the only ones who are ordained to priesthood offices. But to say that women are not involved in the priesthood is like saying that fathers are not involved in creating offspring for their posterity. Men and women have unique roles, different from each other; yet work side-by-side in order to accomplish the same purpose. And that is a divine principle of eternity. Those who argue this sentiment do not fully understand the glorious plan of equality that our Heavenly Father has instituted for His children.

‘And I, God said unto mine Only Begotten, which was with me from the beginning: Let us make man [not a separate man, but a complete man, which is husband and wife] in our image, after our likeness; and it was so.’ (See Moses 2:26.) What a beautiful partnership! Adam and Eve were married for eternity by the Lord. Such a marriage extends beyond the grave. All peoples should call for this kind of marriage. … (Spencer W. Kimball, “Speaking Today,” Ensign, Mar. 1976, p. 71).

 

How Does Christ’s Priesthood Strengthen the Family?

Personally, the priesthood has blessed my family in countless ways: receiving blessings when we are sick, down, or otherwise afflicted, having my husband be our “spiritual leader,” so that we are sure to have family prayer, scripture study, weekly Family Home Evening, making sure that we are attending church meetings, serving others, etc. But the greatest way that it has blessed our family is the hope that we can be together forever. You see, in the holy temples families are not just married, they are sealed by those who have the priesthood—this sealing binds individuals to become “one.” Of course this blessing is only realized if we remain faithful. Knowing this, I have the desire to be faithful each and every day so that I can qualify to be with all of my family members, for eternity—the very thought of it warms my soul. I am so grateful to Heavenly Father who created families as the top priority and caused the priesthood power to be available in order to bless and strengthen the family. It just makes sense.

Elder Ballard continued in his conference address by speaking of a recent leadership training video that was produced by Mormon leaders titled, Strengthening the Family and the Church through the Priesthood.

This innovative and instructive DVD is translated into 66 languages. It teaches how the power of the priesthood can bless, vitalize, and revitalize our lives, the lives of our families, and the lives of all the members of the Church.

It shows us all—men, women, children; married, widowed, or single; no matter what our circumstances—how we can be partakers of the blessings of the priesthood…

Parents, review, share, and discuss what you learn and feel with your children, and let them watch and do the same with you, that your families may be strengthened through the priesthood.

I invite you to ask God to open your heart to see the truthfulness of this message, and the messages shown in Strengthening the Family and the Church through the Priesthood and then to watch them. I witness that they are of God, and that as you seek to be enriched by the true priesthood of God, you will be enlightened and renewed. Each of us, regardless if we feel we are in a personal “dark age” can be shown the light of Christ in just as powerful as a way as the boy Joseph did. It may not come in a vision—but it will be an undeniable feeling of peace and light. I know that is true because I have felt it in my life.

This morning I would like to speak to our sons and to all fathers. How can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in today’s increasingly toxic world? The answer has been taught by the Lord’s prophets. It is a simple answer, and it is true—“The most important thing a father can do for his [daughter] is to love [her] mother.”1 By the way you love her mother, you will teach your daughter about tenderness, loyalty, respect, compassion, and devotion. She will learn from your example what to expect from young men and what qualities to seek in a future spouse. You can show your daughter by the way you love and honor your wife that she should never settle for less. Your example will teach your daughter to value womanhood. You are showing her that she is a daughter of our Heavenly Father, who loves her (“Love Her Mother,” Ensign, Nov. 2011).

Learning From My Daddy

I can honestly say that my father teaches me, year round, of how to truly treat a valentine by the way he treats my mother. He always puts her needs before his ow

n. He insists she should have the nicer car, the most comfortable seat, the best plate of food, the window seat in the airplane, etc. etc. He always wants her car be the one in the garage, and if the garage isn’t available, he is sure to scrape the ice from her windows so that she doesn’t have to. I know that he loves her by the way he treats her. My mother also teaches me by the way she supports and trusts my father in all aspects of his life. They both have taught the basic principles of a successful family, found in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. They didn’t teach these things by word only; they taught it by practicing those principles in their own marriage and family. Together they are a team, and as a little girl, I knew this to be true by their actions. I know that Jesus Christ is their anchor, and as a loving couple they can conquer any obstacle that comes their way.

My Husband’s Turn…

Because of the example of my parents, I was able to have high standards for seeking out a companion of my own. I found a mirror image of my loving father, and I can only hope to become a reflection of my sweet mother. Tyler, my eternal valentine, is already teaching our new son by the way he treats me on a daily basis. He speaks to me with love and respect. He opens my door every time I get into the car. He is laboring tirelessly at work and school in order that he might provide for our family. He makes sure to lock the door every night so that we might be protected. And he lives a virtuous and pure life by abstaining from the products of the wicked world that come in the form of unwholesome media, degrading conversation, abhorrent actions, and unclean thoughts; and most importantly by following the counsel in the Mormon Article of Faith #13, “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, [he] seek[s] after these things—in so doing he truly is worthy of the power of the Holy Ghost—which is the best valentine’s gift anybody could ever ask for.

What Can I Give My Valentine?

The greatest example of love, which we can all learn from, is of course our Savior Jesus Christ. In the scriptures there are endless truths that can be learned from His ministry of how couples can show each other love. Though the scriptures may not say it in straightforward language, the Savior taught us through the way He lived, in His parables that are wrapped in symbolism, and through His powerful commandments. I truly believe that to show the person we love, how much we truly care for them, the scriptures will tell us how to do it best. How do I know this? Because I tried it!

When I was first married I struggled, because my whole life, up to the day of my wedding, had unfortunately been about me; now it was supposed to be all about somebody else. What was I to do? Thankfully I had an institute (a religious class) teacher who invited us to a 30 day challenge—to prayerfully read the scriptures, asking a question(s), that we needed answered. She wisely counseled us to write down four things 1) the date, 2) the question, 3) the verse that inspired the answer, and 4) the answer itself. She testified that the scripture found in the Book of Mormon is true, “Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:3).

So I tried it. What was my question? It was simply, “how can I strengthen my marriage?” What was the answer? The wonderful thing about having God answer your questions through His Word is that they are tailored specifically to the individual, because we truly can “liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning” (1 Nephi 19:23). I testify that I was able to receive answers from God, and because of that, my love increased for my God and for my eternal companion in a way that I will be forever grateful.

I invite you to give a loved one the best valentine there is to give, by becoming a disciple of Christ in your every thought and action. What can you do specifically? Ask God, feast upon His Word (especially the accounts of the Savior’s ministry in both the Bible the Book of Mormon) and I promise He will tell you.

This article was written by Ashley Bell, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

References:

1. President David O. McKay often quoted this statement of Theodore Hesburgh, in “Quotable Quotes,” Reader’s Digest, Jan. 1963, 25; see also Richard Evans’ Quote Book (1971), 11.

Additional Resources:

Request a free copy of the Book of Mormon

Read/Watch/Listen to a Mormon apostle speak of the “Eternal Blessings of Marriage”

Basic Mormon beliefs

If you have a tender heart because you have not yet had the privilege of bearing children on this earth, or maybe you feel that you were deprived of a mother-like role in your growing up years, know that God is mindful of you. A member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes mistakenly called the “Mormon Church” by friends of other faiths) Elder Jeffrey R Holland has said:

To the women within the sound of my voice who dearly want to be mothers and are not, I say through your tears and ours on that subject, God will yet, in days that lie somewhere ahead, bring ‘hope to [the] desolate heart.’” Elder Holland promises “ultimately ‘no blessing shall be withheld’ from the faithful, even if those blessings do not come immediately.  In the meantime we rejoice that the call to nurture is not limited to our own flesh and blood. (“Because She Is a Mother,” Ensign, May 1997)

So women, I ask, are we not all mothers?

I love this quote by Sister Sheri L. Dew who said:

While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living,” and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. (“Are We Not All Mothers?” Ensign, Nov. 2001)

And if you do have a tender heart right now, remember Elder Holland’s words, “ultimately ‘no blessing shall be withheld’ from the faithful.” And also enjoy these words shared by Reachel Bagley who has suffered from infertility:

There are hungry father-in-laws, and overwhelmed sisters; there are friends suffering from too little clean laundry, and husbands who need foot rubs. People need to be prayed for, listened to, and looked after. People are sometimes hurt, lonely, and exhausted, and regardless of whether they are minors, they need mothers. Even mothers need mothers. And for now, that’s what I look for: opportunities to mother. You don’t need to possess someone to love them. Loving is not synonymous with possessing; and possessing is not necessarily loving. But loving and nurturing is mothering. I believe that makes me a mother, regardless of whether I am capable of creating double lines on a pregnancy test. (“The Very Deserving Mother Heart,” Lyndsay and the Johnsons, Mar. 2009)

Now hearing these words may not take the hurt away, but I testify that the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ will—if you seek it.

Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come (Doctrine and Covenants 68:6).

Now as Reachel shared, loving and nurturing is mothering. Some cynics may ask why is it necessary to love? Let me illustrate by sharing a psychology experiment done by Harry F. Harlow:

In Harlow’s initial experiments infant monkeys were separated from their mothers at six to twelve hours after birth and were raised instead with substitute or ‘surrogate’ mothers made either of heavy wire or of wood covered with soft terry cloth. In one experiment both types of surrogates were present in the cage, but only one was equipped with a nipple from which the infant could nurse. Some infants received nourishment from the wire mother, and others were fed from the cloth mother. Even when the wire mother was the source of nourishment, the infant monkey spent a greater amount of time clinging to the cloth surrogate.

It is also noted that when a frightening stimulus was brought into the room the monkeys would run to their terry cloth mother for protection. But was this cuddly cloth covered piece of wood enough for these monkeys—even though they got all the food and protection they needed? No.

…the actions of surrogate-raised monkeys became bizarre later in life. They engaged in stereotyped behavior patterns such as clutching themselves and rocking constantly back and forth; they exhibited excessive and misdirected aggression…

The behavior of these monkeys as mothers — the ‘motherless mothers’ as Harlow called them — proved to be very inadequate … These mothers tended to be either indifferent or abusive toward their babies. The indifferent mothers did not nurse, comfort, or protect their young, but they did not harm them. The abusive mothers violently bit or otherwise injured their infants, to the point that many of them died.  (John Wiley and Sons, Principles of General Psychology, 1980)

Remembering God’s Love

So whether we have borne children or not, remember that as eternal mothers and fathers (for in the eternities motherhood is always accompanied by fatherhood) the task of giving love to our children is the most critical thing we can do when it comes to raising them. It is more important than having a fancy meal, a nice hair-do everyday, or a creatively (Pinterest worthy) decorated home. Love is everything. And when we let our children know that we love them, we are helping them remember that great love they felt from their Heavenly Parents, before they entered mortality.

As we—their parents—try to become like Jesus Christ, and ultimately like our Father, they will feel greater love. Why? Because our children can sense our devotion to God because as we are more devoted to Him and His cause, our capacity to love is increased. When our children feel, or remember, His love vicariously through us, their parents, the veil that hides heaven becomes thin and they remember and relive the feelings of inexpressible joy that they partook of before they entered mortality.

Tyler (my sweet husband) likes to tease me because I try not to let a day go by that I don’t talk with my own mother. I suppose I am drawn to her, and our conversations, because I myself remember God’s love when I do. I am grateful for my own parents who are devoted to God because they help me remember. And I am grateful that they created an atmosphere where I could go to them for anything—whether it was to ask them to come get me from a place that I realized was not appropriate for me, or letting me go and sleep on their floor at night when I got scared. I hope I can love my children as my parents did me.

Time to Act

What can you do to show greater appreciation for your own mom, wife, teacher or friend? Husbands, what can you do to show your gratitude for the role your wife has as an eternal mother? Children, what can you do to help your mom remember that she is doing something great, even though it may be exhausting?

I know that if we love our children now, it will bless them now, as teenagers, adults, and most importantly loving our children now will bless them to be the Mothers and Fathers of eternity. Just as our Father’s goal and mission is to have us become like Him, that should be our goal for our children as well.

Remember that no blessing is to be withheld from the faithful. The family unit is made fully complete through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful the Lord has entrusted Tyler and I to have such a precious and noble son. I can feel his power when I look at him. I love him. And I hope to be the mother that Heavenly Father wants me to be now and in the eternities.

This article was written by Ashley Bell, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Additional Resources:

Meet with Mormon missionaries

Request a free Book of Mormon

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons