Parents are responsible for guiding their children, advising them, and helping them overcome challenges. However, this requires a great deal of prayer, tact, and maturity, as we ensure our counsel is wise and we are allowing children to grow and learn to make choices wherever possible. Following is advice from Ed J. Pinegar and Richard J. Allen, excerpted from a forthcoming book called, “What We Need to Know and Do” on how to provide wise counsel in our families:
“Counseling refers to giving or receiving advice, direction, information, caution, and even admonishing or exhorting
one in regard to a given situation. We often need to give counsel within our stewardship as parents or leaders. As individuals we need to be easily entreated that we might be willing to receive counsel. Whether giving or receiving it is imperative that we always counsel with the Lord in all things.”
“When we seek to receive or give counsel, let us always keep in mind the welfare of the individual. Counseling is a form of nurturing—instructing, inspiring, and, above all, giving one hope to carry on. We should never forget that we seek to be instruments in the hand of the Lord—saying and doing the things He would say and do if He were here. Occasions of counseling are pivotal moments in people’s lives. Let us always follow the Spirit as we are called on from time to time to assume the role of counselor.”
IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING
- Follow the Spirit—Be sure counsel is given and received by the Spirit.
- Remember that charity is the motivating force—All counsel, or chastening for that matter, should be designed to help and bless one another, to bring people closer to our Savior and Heavenly Father.
- Remember to love—All counsel and nurturing are to be motivated by, and given in, love (see John 21:15-17; also John 13:34-35).
- Look for the best teaching moments—Counsel is best received when a person asks for help. Therefore, we can help create a teaching or counseling moment through sensitive and loving interactions. Being easily entreated is the key to receiving and acting upon the counsel given.
- Chasten when moved by the Spirit—Sometimes counseling is part of chastening.
- Stay peaceful and controlled—Never counsel in anger (see Proverbs 15:18).
- Respect the individual—Always refer to the behavior and not to the individual. The sin is condemned; the sinner is given hope through repentance.
- Respect privacy—Never counsel an individual in public on personal matters.
- Listen carefully—Seek to understand the individual’s concerns and feelings (see Proverbs 17:27).
- Use the word of God—Counsel from the scriptures and in keeping with the spoken word of the prophets.