Valerie Steimle is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” woman). She has been writing as a family advocate for the past 20 years. She is the mother of nine children living in southern Alabama and is the author of four books and a weekly newspaper column, Thoughts from the Heart.

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are given words of wisdom from our leaders in Salt Lake City every six months. It’s usually the first weekend in April and October but this time the April meeting was schedule March 31, 2012 to April 1st, 2012.

As I previewed all the different speeches of these leaders this week, I saw a reoccurring theme throughout the entire weekend: the importance of family and parenthood. One particular speech stayed with me and that is of Boyd K. Packer’s remarks on Saturday morning (March 31, 2012).

His talk is called “And A Little Child Shall Lead Them” (see Ensign Magazine, May 2012, page 6-9) and it is great reminder of keeping our families in the front of our minds. President Packer who is the President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, related several heart wrenching stories of poor and orphaned children he met or heard of during his travels and the difficult conditions they experienced. The anguish we feel from reading or seeing children in such dire straights is distressing but yet in our own country of milk and honey, we find ourselves unable to cope with the children we have brought into the world.

We are parents with great responsibility from the time we conceive or bring a child into our home. Enduring to the end takes patience, love and time and President Packer has reminded us with his words why parents should be devoted to their children. Devotion meaning choosing wisely in decisions for our children and then letting them experience what has been taught as they grow older. Not to be confused with thinking that many material possessions are important for each child, we should teach correct principles and let them learn and govern themselves.

As President Packer has reminded us with his words of wisdom, we need to remember “the spirit of the gospel of Jesus Christ” in our homes and not just busying ourselves with too many commitments. Our time is very precious in the course of a child’s life and we can remind ourselves of what priorities.

President Packer tells us: “One of the great discoveries of parenthood is that we learn far more about what really matters from our children than we ever did from our parents. We come to recognize the truth in Isaiah’s prophesy that “a little child shall lead them”.

As parents raising the small spiritual beings, we are to humble ourselves as we are encouraged by President Packer and do all we can do within our own life to make sure our children are taught gospel principles at home. It’s not going to be perfect but we can continue to try to do the best we can.

We should always include Family Home Evening time every week and pray every day as well as read and study scriptures together as much as possible. These are golden opportunities to really instill the gospel in our children’s life.

President Gordon B. Hinckley, former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said it well: “You mothers are the real builders of the nation wherever you live, for you have created homes of strength and peace and security. These become the very sinew of any nation.”

As we continue on in this life, we can be comforted to know we spent well invested time and did what we could for our children. What ever the outcome of our children’s choices, we can remember and put our hope in Jesus Christ our Savior and teach them the same. Let’s hope the message stays with us for a long time.

Additional Resources:

Read, listen to or watch talks from the most recent General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently called by friends of other faiths as the “Mormon Church”).

Attend a Mormon meetinghouse.

Request a free copy of the Book of Mormon.

Valerie’s website: Strengthen Your Home.

Valerie Steimle is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” woman). She has been writing as a family advocate for the past 20 years. She is the mother of nine children living in southern Alabama and is the author of four books and a weekly newspaper column, Thoughts from the Heart.

Prepare Now for Hard Times

Your spouse lost employment. Your family is down to one or no income. The bills are piling up and you feel a panic for the future. This is happening to at least 8.2 percent of our U.S. Citizens according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics March 2012 report and there is no relief in sight.

So what do you do to survive? As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, being prepared for the worst has always been good counsel from our church leaders. From L. Tom Perry’s words as one of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in October 1995 at a General Conference meeting of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints: “On a daily basis we witness widely fluctuating inflation; wars; interpersonal conflicts; national disasters; variances in weather conditions; innumerable forces of immorality, crime, and violence; attacks and pressures on the family and individuals; technological advances that make occupations obsolete; and so on. The need for preparation is abundantly clear. The great blessing of being prepared gives us freedom from fear, as guaranteed to us by the Lord in the Doctrine and Covenants: “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30)

It is always advisable regardless of situation: staying ahead of a difficult economy is the best preparation. Many families are suffering through unemployment or disability yet there are some tips you can use to buffer the bumps.

Keep your eyes open for more employment now: It’s always good to have a back up plan for income even if your job is secure. Keep your resume up to date including keeping up with education in your field. Whatever educational seminars there are available, be sure you take time to participate as this will give you an edge and keep you abreast of your area of expertise. There are so many resources online and through networking, this can be a helpful tool in keeping good employment or finding a better opportunity.

Decide now to put away some savings: No one really knows what it is like to be so broke they can’t buy groceries until it happens to you. It is incredibly debilitating to suffer through such a challenge so by thinking ahead, you can be prepared if income is lost quickly. Put away some savings out of your monthly income for emergencies. Sometimes this requires sacrifice but better to sacrifice new drapes or furniture now, than to be caught without cash to use for emergencies later.

Cut back wasteful expenses: Americans are notorious for over spending. We think we can cover it later on down the road but in fact this causes great stress. Living within your means of your monthly paycheck is very wise for every family. When purchasing items at the store think to yourself: Do I really need this or it is just something I want? If you have to buy it on credit without being able to pay the bill off at the end of the month then you don’t really need it. There is a lot to be said for living within our means.

Keep a positive attitude! This is an important aspect of survival. It’s not all doom and gloom. We can be satisfied with what we have and enjoy life without a lot of material possessions. We are so blessed living in this country as we have no idea how the rest of the world lives. Read about the outside world on the internet to really have a great appreciation of how we are blessed and you will be content in your life to continue wise counsel.

If we can learn to live happily with what we already own, life seems a whole lot better. Keeping up with the Jones went out a long time ago and it is not important to buy what the neighbor buys. If we can remember these words of wisdom in our financial state, we can steer away from financial ruin and disaster in the future, for “if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear”.

Additional Resources:

Keep your family strong. Learn more at the official site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently called by friends of other faiths as the “Mormon Church”).

Attend a Mormon meetinghouse.

Request a free copy of the Book of Mormon.

Valerie’s website: Strengthen Your Home.

Valerie Steimle is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” woman). She has been writing as a family advocate for the past 20 years. She is the mother of nine children living in southern Alabama and is the author of four books and a weekly newspaper column, Thoughts from the Heart.

Preparing Children by Utilizing the Gospel of Jesus Christ

When a couple gets married, the natural incline is for children to come. The reality of parenthood is such a surprise to most couples that they do not realize what they are getting themselves into as they welcome their first child. The task becomes overwhelming. Proverbs tells us: “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from them.” (Proverbs 22:6) The hours spent in training and encouraging children through the teen aged years is greatly rewarded ten fold when these children become happy, successful adults. There are five areas of interest parents need to understand to help train their children.

1. Gospel Foundation: President Spencer W. Kimball (past President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints once said in a General Conference talk: “Our success, individually and as a Church, will largely be determined by how faithfully we focus on living the gospel in the home.” (Ensign, May 1978, p. 101.) With encouraging words from our prophets and apostles, we know we are to teach our children to pray and read the scriptures daily. But as families start and grow, life becomes more complicated. Parents find themselves in great difficulties to keep the adversary out of their lives and the Spirit of the Lord in. Taking the time to pray and read, no matter how small, renders great dividends of great blessings to parents when they pray and read together often. The more days you can consistently participate as families together, the better the Spirit can continuously help your family. With raising nine children it was a great challenge to find the time to pray and read together. Sometimes because of circumstance, all of us could not be there all the time, but we kept on trying. These times were not always perfect but the sense of consistency helped. Young children need to know that the scriptures are Heavenly Father’s words to us and practicing reverence for five minutes every day while they listen can improve their duration during Sacrament Meeting.

2. Training for Life Skills: We all know that children need to learn life skills such as cleaning house, doing the laundry, cooking, sewing and organizational skills. Starting at an early age, young children are taught to make their beds, put their toys away and help Mom clean the bathroom. These are important skills to learn and most do, unless a family has the budget money to hire a housekeeper. I have heard of several parents who have done a disservice to their children by not letting them do any chores or work around their home, which gives a false sense of security when these children hit the real world. For the most part, most parents are sensible enough to know that teaching their children life skills is an important part of raising a child. There are many different ways parents can accomplish this training and parents can find hundreds of different ideas from other parents, books written specifically for this purpose or internet access. Which ever way you choose does not matter, the important thing is that it gets done.

3. Social Associations: Children need to learn what is socially acceptable in a group setting. Teaching our children kindness, politeness and manners is an important part of training a child. Whether they go to public school or stay home with Mom, it is always wise to teach children the importance of politeness and manners starting with the example from the parents.

From the website called “Parenting Exchange”, parent expert, Karen Stevens says this about manners: “Being mannerly is a social skill that parents help children master—it’s an important one. The knack of cordially getting along with others opens doors of opportunities which stay closed to kids who act inconsiderate or in offensive ways.”

One of life’s preparations is to learn to be kind and considerate and know how to associate with other people.

4. Learning to Work: This life preparation of being a good worker is slowly dying with each new generation. In a doctor’s office setting, parents were discussing the difficulties they have with motivating their own children to help out at home and take on more responsibility. As one parent commented, “many parents take on two jobs to make ends meet only to come home to children who are watching TV or playing video games expecting their mothers to cater to them.”

It is sad when children aren’t prepared to work hard as their parents do and help their families succeed instead of constantly having to be prompted to do simple tasks and then at an appropriate age learn to work to take care of themselves. Volunteering service hours or doing the work at home as in lawn care, laundry or vacuuming can be a good way to start children in learning to like to work. Those who can consistently train their children to know the importance of helping out is far ahead of the crowd when their children go out into the world as teens and take on outside employment.

From a talk called The Value of Work given at the April 1982 session of General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of latter Day Saints, J. Richard Clarke tells us: “Work is a blessing from God. It is a fundamental principle of salvation, both spiritual and temporal. When Adam was driven from his garden home, he was told that his bread must be produced by his physical toil, by the sweat of his brow. Note carefully the words: ‘Cursed shall be the ground for thy sake’ that is, for his good or benefit. It would not be easy to master the earth; but that was his challenge and his blessing, as it is ours. Fortunate is the young man or woman who has learned how to work. Wise is the parent who requires children to learn responsibility and to meet acceptable performance standards.”

This training of learning to love to work takes time and patience but it is necessary for a successful life.

5. Developing Talents: We’ve all been told by church leaders and other motivational speakers that we all have talents. From the words of President Joseph F Smith, former President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said in 1939 (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. Page 370) “Every son and every daughter of God has received some talent and each will be held to strict account for the use or misuse to which it is put.”

As we read from Matthew in the New Testament (Matt 25: 14-30) a talent is one kind of stewardship and if we do not serve well in our stewardship, it will be taken away from us. As parents, we know that our children need to be molded or encouraged to find what they can excel in and practice that skill. Whether it’s art, dance, music, writing or any other skill our children take an interest in, we can help them to develop something in them that can bless the lives of others.

These five areas of interest for parents helping their children can greatly increase the success of their children’s lives so they can be happy, healthy adults and they will thank you for consistently pushing them in the right direction.

Additional Resources:

The family is the fundamental unit of society. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently called by friends of other faiths as the “Mormon Church”).

Learn why the family is important.

Request a free copy of the Book of Mormon.

Valerie’s website: Strengthen Your Home.

Here, two Mormon moms, one younger and still raising kids, and one older looking back, talk about establishing spiritually enriching habits in the home.

From Tiffany:

Three years ago at a Stake Conference (a combined meeting with several local Mormon congregations), Elder Jeffrey R. Holland(who Mormons believe to be a modern-day apostle) attended. Although I remember him giving a riveting talk, I remember clearly one specific thing from his address. It probably has to do with the fact that upon arrival home I immediately wrote down his eight word counsel and it hangs it a prominent place in my kitchen. I am reminded by his advice daily, “When it is a nightmare to do it.”Elder Holland was referring to the practice that Mormons are encouraged to participate in–family scripture reading, family prayer, and weekly family night time (which Mormons call “Family Home Evening”). All events that for me and my family, the reminder “when it is a nightmare to do it” is more applicable than I would like to admit!

Take scripture reading for example. Many Mormon families make scripture reading, particularly from the Book of Mormon, a daily part of their lives. We believe the words of our former Mormon president, Gordon B. Hinckley when referring to reading the Book of Mormon said,

“There will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God.”

“Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed” (Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 18:21).

“Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellowmen, and trust in our Father in heaven. It is our promise that great blessings will come to all who conscientiously plan and hold weekly family home evenings.”

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a Mormon woman who has been married for forty-four very eventful years, with six children and nearly thirteen grandchildren.  I was raised by worldly and very intellectual parents (not Mormons) who focused on science, education, and culture.  My two siblings and I are very close in age.  Living far away from extended family, I had virtually no experience with babies, toddlers or young kids before I started having my own.  Needless to say, the Family Home Evening (once a week), family prayer (twice a day), and scripture reading (once a day) routine was new to me and quite a challenge.  With an artistic temperament, I was no great organizer.  Things important to running a household would drop out of my mind frequently, and a few times I even forgot my kids at school.

Unsurprisingly, we were never perfect at any of the above, but we tried.  As I read Tiffany’s account of her boisterous children interrupting her efforts to follow the counsel of the Mormon Prophet, I had to laugh.  It brought back memories that are now precious.  She never did mention the spontaneous farting contests, the bathroom jokes just as we were kneeling down to prayer.  In the scriptures there is counsel against “light-mindedness” and “loud laughter” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:121).  Good thing the Lord has a sense of humor.

We pressed on through the years against all odds.  Now we are old enough to see the fruits of our commitment.  Every one of our six children has his or her own personal witness that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  Spiritual experience is central to the development of this kind of witness, and we supported our kids’ independence and freedom to choose as we taught them sound principles.  The kids developed compassion and a desire to serve along with developing their talents and getting educated.  They have served missions for our church but have also served in the US Peace Corps, in the military, and in their own communities.  Along the way, they’ve lived their lives with integrity and honor, doing their best to keep themselves “unspotted from the world,” endeavoring to be chaste and to avoid alcohol and tobacco and drugs, to be honest in school and at work — to take the high road.  Yes, I’m a proud mom (and grandmother), but I actually do miss the nightmare attempts at Family Home Evening, family prayer, and scripture reading.

Tiffany Sowby is a mother of five and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” woman). She tries to find humor, joy, and contentment in the little things life has to offer.

Gale Boyd is Managing Editor for More Good Foundation and a Relief Society President for a small congregation of Mormons in Asia.

Additional Resources:

Strengthening Families, Our Sacred Duty

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons

Jesus Christ in Mormonism

Mormon Youth

Valerie Steimle is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” woman). She has been writing as a family advocate for the past 20 years. She is the mother of nine children living in southern Alabama and is the author of four books and a weekly newspaper column, Thoughts from the Heart.

We Should Pray to God Regularly

Through out our country’s history, we were known to be a people of prayer, religious conviction and those who promote life. We prayed before meals, before school started, before Congress, and before sport games. George Washington prayed during Valley Forge as well as many other military leaders and men in combat. So why has the media jumped all over Tim Tebow when he drops to a knee to thank his Heavenly Father for his blessings?

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I am encouraged to pray with my family every day. From the President of the Church, Thomas S. Monson to my own congregation leaders, we are encouraged to pray every day with our families and privately. Prayer is the glue of what families need to stay together through difficult challenges and happy times.

Religious convictions, especially Christianity, have come under fire in many areas including entertainment, sports, education and government. Respect for the divine in our country is on a downward slope. The standard of what used to be acceptable in religion is slowly being undermined. In 2006 a public school teacher was forced by a federal judge to remove Christian-themed posters from his bulletin board. One of them was the picture of George Washington kneeling in prayer at Valley Forge . We remember the Ten Commandment fiasco when a monument showing the Ten Commandments had to be removed from our own state courthouse. There is a lack of regard for what we used to call respect for God’s authority. It is slowly taking over all those who are opposed to those who choose to keep this reverence.

From a talk in April of 1982 by John Groberg, one of the world wide leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints being a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy promotes the power of family prayer. He says, “Think of the power for good as you gather your family together and thank God for all of his blessings. Think of the eternal significance of daily thanking him for each member of your family and asking him to guide and bless and protect each one. Think of the strength that will come to your family as, daily, one member or another pours out his or her soul in love to God for other family members.” John Groberg knows the power of prayer as his life as a missionary in the Tongan Islands was a major motion picture release called “The Other Side of Heaven”.

From personal experience in raising nine children and then losing a husband at 46 years old, prayer was my life line. Everything wasn’t perfect but life went much smoother if we prayed together. When trials did arise, praying was sometimes all we could do to get through. We had purpose and we knew that our Father in Heaven loved us. It makes sense to me: praying as a family has helped to make our families better and our country great.

Additional Resources:

Our relationship with God is built on prayer. Learn more at the official site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently called by friends of other faiths as the “Mormon Church”).

Learn more about strengthening the family.

Attend a local meetinghouse.

Valerie’s website: Strengthen Your Home.

Valerie Steimle is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“Mormon” woman). She has been writing as a family advocate for the past 20 years. She is the mother of nine children living in southern Alabama and is the author of four books and a weekly newspaper column, Thoughts from the Heart.

Mormon Families Instructed to Spend Time Wisely

One of the most favorite past times of teenagers is playing video games. Hours upon hours of time are spent pushing buttons or moving joy sticks. As a leisure time activity, this allotment of time spent staring at a TV screen is relaxing to the participant but is very distracting in the way of other enterprises. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and a mother of nine children I’m not totally opposed to my Mormon family playing video games, but there are some precautions I would like to share in video game time for children.

1. Time taken away from others. It’s easy to get sucked up into a video game and not realize how much time has gone by. Before you know the whole day has passed and the hours spent playing video games cannot be called back.

From a talk given by Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was published in the Ensign Magazine November 2000 (page 66) a poignant ideal is shared. “Near the end of his life, one father looked back on how he had spent his time on earth. An acclaimed, respected author of numerous scholarly works, he said, ‘I wish I had written one less book and taken my children fishing more often.’ Time passes quickly. Many parents say that it seems like yesterday that their children were born. Now those children are grown, perhaps with children of their own. “Where did the years go?” they ask. We cannot call back time that is past, we cannot stop time that now is, and we cannot experience the future in our present state. Time is a gift, a treasure not to be put aside for the future but to be used wisely in the present.”

We are given so much time in the day. We can either spend it helping each other and accomplishing something good or waste it participating in what seems like leisure but in actuality is harmful in large doses. Your child is only under your roof for 18 years and flies by very quickly. An allotted amount of time should be set each week for children playing on video games.

2. War games promote revenge: I was sitting in a Sunday School class a few weeks ago listening to a discussion about how we are taught by the lessons of Jesus Christ in forgiving others. One woman brought up the idea that children playing video war games learn revenge instead of forgiveness. A light bulb went on in my head and the more I thought of that idea, the more I realized how right she is. Not only are there many video games which become very addictive and entice children to play for hours at a time but these same war games children love to play so much teaches that it is better to blow the enemies away by gunning them down then talking out their problems.

Is it better as Christian families to promote inflicting injury or carrying a bitter desire to hurt another of God’s children in the name of winning a game? I think not. Day after day of shooting the enemy can desensitize the ability to think clearly on the more important matters as in communicating with one another and forgiving each other for our faults. Video games don’t promote such ideals especially video war games. Take a good look at what your children are playing and think about the messages these “games” profess.

3. Playing video games promotes lack of physical activity: If a child is so interested in playing video games, then why would he/she inconvenience themselves to run around and play. This is a big distraction from physical activity and creative playing time. When the electricity goes out from storms in our area, it is amazing how children will congregate outside because they are “bored” with nothing to do. They usually busy themselves with simple games and talk. Not so with the distraction of video games. Unless someone tells them specifically “it’s time to turn it off,” they will keep on playing. Why are video games so addictive? According to media literacy specialist, Dr. Charles Ungerleider, “they are very compelling with increasing complexity, so the child becomes more facile, yet wants to know more and learns new skills. While wanting to improve their game isn’t a problem in itself, it becomes one if video games are taking a child away too much from other activities.”

Children need parents to remind them after a certain amount of playing time that videos are over and it’s time for an alternative. It’s an inconvenience for both the parent and the children because the parents know their children should be playing outside or doing other things but children are so preoccupied by these games, they don’t want to stop and complain incessantly when it’s time to move on to something else.

Stick to your guns when you make the ground rules about video games and both parents and children will be happier for it. You will see a difference in your child’ attitude and spend more quality time doing something fun and healthy.

Additional Resources:

We are all part of God’s family. Learn more at the official site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently called by friends of other faiths as the “Mormon Church”).

As spirit children of God we have divine potential.

Attend a local meetinghouse.

Valerie’s website: Strengthen Your Home.

]]> http://mormonfamily.net/2788/mormon-families-video-games/feed 0 http://mormonfamily.net/2661/families-are-vital-to-society http://mormonfamily.net/2661/families-are-vital-to-society#comments Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:22:42 +0000 admin http://mormonfamily-net.en.elds.org/?p=2661

The Utah Deseret News has published its choice of the top ten articles of 2011 on the family.

#10 — Raising Special Children

A 2009 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey found that 13 percent of children met criteria for at least one of six mental disorders. Some have multiple issues. And there are far more than those six disorders to consider.

A Utah Easy to Love, Hard to Raise parent support group helps parents who have to cope with raising a special child while still functioning as parents of other children and people with vocations, hobbies, and dreams.   The organization was created by two such moms, who set up a blog: Utaheasytolove.blogspot.com and who meet with other parents in two Utah cities.   (Read more…)

#9 — Genealogy: Expanding the Family Tree

This year family history viewers have topped 149 million, based on website statistics from Compete.com, as users, typically aged 45 and older, seek out connections to relatives.

More than 100 million records will be made available this year via companies like Salt Lake City-based FamilySearch International, owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Provo-based Ancestry.com Inc. and Palo Alto, California-based Archives.com. Part-time ancestral sleuths are turning to the Internet to find their progenitors, with companies trying to keep up with a growing market.  (Read more…)

#8 — Teen’s Dad Spends School Year Waving at Bus

Rain Price is a high school sophomore whose bus route changed so the bus would pass right by his house.  Every day, his dad showed up to wave at the bus — each time in a different costume.

“No recycling costumes, that’s the rule,” Price said. “I managed to adhere to that, and for better or for worse … we have some interesting costumes.” (Read more…)

#7 — Progress and Challenges for Women

…a new comprehensive report was recently released by the White House Council on Women and Girls — the first of its kind since a 1963 report by John F. Kennedy’s Presidential Commission on the Status of Women.

That commission, chaired by Eleanor Roosevelt, was charged with recommending ways to overcome “discriminations in government and private employment on the basis of sex” and point out services that would “enable women to continue their role as wives and mothers while making a maximum contribution to the world around them.”

The new report shows that women have made great strides, but that they still lag behind men in the workforce — in both pay and financial stability. (Read more…)

#6 — Marriage Gap Grows

The marriage gap is growing as co-habitation becomes the new norm.

Between 1960 and 2009, the number of nonmarital cohabiting couples — “sexual partners who are not married to each other but share a household” — in the United States increased more than fifteenfold, according to “The State of Our Unions: Marriage in America 2010,” produced by the University of Virginia National Marriage Project. About one-fourth of unmarried women 25 to 39 live with a partner and a similar number have done so in the past.

The full impact of this trend will not be felt for years, but many negatives are already showing up, especially where children are involved with co-habiting couples.  (Read more…)

#5 — Pro-life Movement Making a Comeback

For decades, Americans have argued over the morality and legality of abortion, in an emotionally heated and often intellectually clouded debate.

Yet this debate has reached a new intensity thanks to a wave of Tea Party and conservative Republicans who were swept into the U.S. House of Representatives and state legislatures November 2010.

In Washington, it has become a no-holds barred battle.  One fighting ground was the debate over funding to Planned Parenthood.  (Read more…)

4— The Age of Entitlement

A sense of entitlement…

isn’t just in preschool classrooms; it’s in homes, high schools, offices and even the highest levels of government. It impacts the way children treat their parents and siblings, interferes with education and can contribute to a lifetime of unhappiness, financial instability and disdain for work, experts say.

Entitled children and adults think they deserve to have everything their way, and that they shouldn’t have to do anything they don’t want to.  They have a very low tolerance for frustration, are impatient, and tend to raise their kids to be the same way.  (Read more…)

#3 — Blending Motherhood and Work

In the United States today, among mothers with children under 18 years of age, 71 percent of them are working, the highest number on record. In 1975 it was 47 percent.

While those numbers refer to mothers who punch a time clock or pull in a paycheck, any mother will tell you that motherhood is its own job — minus the public recognition, office perks or paid holidays.

American mothers who work are forced to be “supermoms,” but all eventually find that “doing it all” is taxing and daunting.  Most feel they are not getting to everything and shortchanging either home or work, or both. (Read more…)

#2 — Emerging Adulthood Changes Dating Rituals

Members of the LDS Church as well as people worldwide — young and old — are grappling with the question of marriage in a swiftly shifting society.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the median age for a man to marry is about 28 and a woman 26 — a figure that has been on the rise for the last few decades — with members of the LDS Church consistently getting married about two to three years earlier than the national average. Earlier this month at the LDS General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson and other church leaders encouraged young single Mormon men to more actively pursue matrimony.

Some studies have shown that since women are striding out in education and career opportunities, men are lengthening their youth and waiting to make commitments such as marriage.  Thus, even in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where marriage and family are of central importance, young people are waiting much longer to marry.  (Read more…)

#1 — Fatherless America

One third of American children have no father in the home.

In the past 50 years, the percentage of children who live with two married parents has dropped 22 points. During that same time, the number of babies born to unwed mothers jumped from 5 percent to 40 percent.

Studies show that a father’s influence is important for children, and has been linked to profound emotional, physical, and psychological milestones in development.  “Several leading sociologists have labeled father absence ‘the most pressing issue facing America today.’” (Read more…)

* Top Ten Deseret News Stories of 2011 on Family Life

Additional Resources:

Threats to Marriage and Family

The Church of Jesus Christ on Marriage and Family

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons

Valerie Steimle is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (a “Mormon” woman). She has been writing as a family advocate for the past 20 years. She is the mother of nine children living in southern Alabama and is the author of four books and a weekly newspaper column, Thoughts from the Heart.

Valerie Steimle is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (a “Mormon” woman). She has been writing as a family advocate for the past 20 years. She is the mother of nine children living in southern Alabama and is the author of four books and a weekly newspaper column, Thoughts from the Heart.

Real family entertainment is difficult to come by at times. As a parent, we check to make sure whatever we watch, read or listen to is tame enough for our children. Raw language, over dramatized violence, and inappropriate relationships seem to be the norm in our culture. Sometimes, it’s even snuck in children’s full length feature cartoons. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we pay particular attention to the rating, language content, and violence of movies as we have been admonished by our church leaders.

This past year was a pretty good one for good, clean, uplifting movies. Some good examples of inspiring movies are: Soul Surfer, A Dophin’s Tale, Hugo and even Gnomeo and Juliet. No inappropriate language, no over dramatized violence and no nudity or inappropriate relationships. The stories were interesting and uplifting as well.

How can we tell for ourselves and then guide our children on which movies are appropriate to watch as well as interesting, showing the correct example and moral principles? The movie making business unfortunately, for the most part, is not family friendly.

LDS quote and guidelines new strength of youth pamphlet

Back in March 31, 1930, the Motion Picture Association of America approved what was called, “The Production Code”. This code had three general principles.

1. No picture shall be produced which will lower the moral standards of those who see it.

2. Correct standards of life, subject only to the requirements of drama and entertainment, shall be presented.

3. Law–divine, natural or human–shall not be ridiculed, nor shall sympathy be created for it’s violation.

What a far cry that is to the kind of movies we have today. This type of entertainment has taken its toll on our attitudes in life.

Did the movie “Pearl Harbor” truly portray what happened in history or did it change the story a bit to smooth over relationships with other countries? What about the movie “Titanic”? How are we to feel compassion for Rose’s situation, when she runs away from her family and has sex with a guy she just met a few days before? The historical recreations are changing what we normally visualize as evil for good and it is having a noticeable affect on our children.

In an NBC “In Depth” news report by Mike Belcher on October 19, 1995, teenagers of different backgrounds and lifestyles were questioned about what they watched at the theater. To these adolescents, “violence was perceived as normal” and it was common to see “women in sexual situations”.

Is this what the American public see in their everyday life? I would say not. But through the movies being produced today, we are reinforcing our own stereotypes. We know that in our day-to-day life, most people never see the kind of violence that is shown in the films we watch at the theater. Yet these violent, sex-ridden movies are popular and are supposedly reflecting the kind of life we have in this country.

In a speech delivered on May 5, 1995 to the University of Toronto, Canada, Michael Medved said, “We hear the cries of Hollywood, who say ‘we are just reflecting reality, don’t blame us’”. But as Mr. Medved points out “if the rate of murder from TV and movies were applied in reality, then in just 50 days, everyone in the United States would be killed.”

This is the kind of entertainment our youth are watching. This is not reality but what other people want to characterize as good entertainment. What kind of future will we have with this reinforcement of a false reality?

A report from U.S. News and World Report, September 11, 1995 said “a psychologist, Leonard Eron of the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research, has tracked 650 New York children from 1960 to the present, looking at viewing habits and behavior. Those who watched the most violent television as youngsters grew up to engage in the most aggressive behavior as adults, from spouse abuse to drunk driving.”

Thinking of the most popular films of the day, the future looks pretty bleak. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can choose to watch family oriented movies that are entertaining too. In fact according to what Michael Medved said in his speech, “the G and PG rated movies have done better on average than the R-rated movies by a ratio of more than two to one.” This was before the PG-13 rating came out. As parents, it is up to us to keep tabs on the movies our children watch. An “R” rating should be a warning sign for inappropriate watching material.

At times we seem to swing back and forth in our praising of Hollywood from good family entertainment, like the movie Soul Surfer, to the violence of Bourne Identity. Somehow we have to get the message across to those making films that families want good movies with descent moral values and no gratuitous violence. Let the good be portrayed as good and the evil be evil. Uplifting movies will strengthen families in a positive way. Our future depends on it.

Additional Resources:

Strengthen families by watching uplifting movies and media. Learn more at the official site of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently called by friends of other faiths as the “Mormon Church”).

Attend a local meetinghouse and discover in person what Mormon believe.

Valerie’s website: Strengthen Your Home.

By Amy Choate-Nielsen

Deseret News
Published: Sunday, Jan. 15, 2012 7:00 p.m. MST

David Letterman knows how to get a laugh.Like most comics, he riffs on the day’s news, deadpans the camera and revels in audacity.”Oh, did you hear about this?” the host of CBS’ Late Show with David Letterman asked his audience recently. “A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, now, wait a minute — isn’t Newt in favor of multiple wives?”
Laughter rumbled from the audience followed by applause. The polygamy punch line is a familiar one when it comes to poking fun at Mormons — as though Mormons and polygamy are synonymous in mainstream media. Ironically, the practice that’s most linked to Mormons is a practice most Mormons oppose, according to a groundbreaking new study of Mormons in America released Thursday by the Pew Research Center‘s Forum on Religion and Public Life.

According to the study, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints unequivocally reject polygamy — only 2 percent said the practice is morally acceptable — evidence of a yawning gap in what Mormons believe and how they are perceived. Mormons’ opinions are overwhelmingly conservative, the study shows, but in many ways, their views are also surprising — especially when it comes to opinions on moral issues, divorce, homosexuality and polygamy.

Morality

Mormons also take a significant stance on moral issues in other areas, such as divorce, sex outside of marriage and consumption of alcohol.

Although teachings from the LDS Church emphasize the importance and eternal nature of the family, only 25 percent of Mormons surveyed said divorce is morally wrong, according to the study. That means Mormons are slightly less morally opposed to divorce than the general public.

“For Catholics, divorce does not exist. They think it is not only wrong but it is impossible,” said Matthew Bowman, member of a board of expert advisers to the Pew Research Center for the study and author of “The Mormon People,” a book on the history of the LDS Church. “That has not been true for Mormons. There is theological space for divorce within Mormonism. It is undesirable, but Mormons recognize it is sometimes necessary and sometimes the right thing to do.”

Other moral views revealed in the survey — 54 percent said drinking alcohol was morally wrong, compared with 15 percent of the general public — set Mormons apart, Bowman says. The assumption on the part of non-Mormons is that if Mormons think drinking alcohol is wrong, then they must think everyone who imbibes is morally flawed. That apprehension can make people suspicious of Mormons, and wary of an elitist attitude, he says.

Differences in moral viewpoints can create a stumbling block for Mormon acceptance — not only in high-profile arenas, such as a presidential election, but also in communities.
“What you find throughout the report is a tension,” said David Campbell, assistant professor at Notre Dame and an adviser on the study. “Mormons like to use the phrase, ‘Be in the world but not of the world.’ They are certainly living their lives in the world. They are active and involved in their communities, but they have these beliefs and practices that set them apart a little bit, and sometimes there is conflict.”

Homosexuality

Mormons have some of the most conservative opinions when it comes to homosexuality. The survey asked Mormons if homosexuality should be accepted by society or discouraged by society, with an option for neither, both or “don’t know.” The response — 26 percent said homosexuality should be accepted, 65 percent said it should be discouraged — puts Mormons as the least likely to say homosexuality should be accepted by society. But a 26 percent acceptance rate, with roughly 1 in 4 Mormons saying homosexuality should be accepted, might be surprisingly high to some.

Of particular interest is the fact that only 8 percent of Mormons surveyed identified themselves as liberal, and 66 percent said they were conservative. That means some of those who said homosexuality should be accepted also identify themselves as politically conservative, Bowman says. That distinction illustrates the complexity of Mormons’ opinion on sexuality — that it is rooted more in religious precepts than politics.
Still, it’s difficult to draw a conclusion about Mormons‘ views on homosexuality based on the study, says Pew Research Center adviser Terryl Givens, professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond.

“Results need to be viewed cautiously,” Givens says. “Official LDS pronouncements insist there is a distinction between (sexual) orientation and behavior, but the survey blurs that difference, probably leaving many Mormons unsure how to answer that question. What is clear, however, is that Mormons are trending toward greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, just as society as a whole is, although by a much smaller percentage.”

Polygamy

At one point 120 years ago, some Mormons practiced plural marriage, hence the association between Mormons and polygamy. The practice was discontinued in 1890, but the cultural association persists, perhaps in part because Mormons are sometimes confused with members of the Fundamentalist LDS Church, a polygamist group not affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In the October-November 2011 study of a national sample of 1,019 Mormons, 86 percent said polygamy is morally wrong. That’s a number that surprises Bowman.

Were it not for the confusion surrounding Mormons and the FLDS Church practice of plural marriage, Bowman says that statistic might not be as high.

“It’s my experience that Mormons have a fraught relationship with polygamy,” Bowman said of the study results. “There is a sense that rejecting polygamy identifies a member of the LDS Church and distinguishes us from the fundamentalists. That is a cultural signifier as much as a theological statement.”

Some who responded to the survey, 11 percent, said polygamy is not a moral issue.
Email: achoate@desnews.com